The perils of searching for the perfect Christmas party dress
Feet first: Amy's platform heels from Next provided the basis for the rest of her Christmas outfit.
I wont' be sweating my Christmas party dress this year. I’ve got four frocks, all still with tags on, which have accumulated in my wardrobe since October. One of those, jazzed up with some festive accessories will be fine.
WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO LIE TO MYSELF? Not one of those dresses is fine. In fact, they are far from fine. One of them makes me look like an underpaid hooker, one of them makes me look like an overpaid hooker and the one I liked so much I bought in two different colours now apparently does ‘nothing for my lovely curvy figure’ cheers Mum.
The annual search for the Christmas party dress has begun. I love shopping. I would rather have my arms drop off from the sheer weight of carrier bags than give in. But this. This is something else.
Chat in the office tells me I’m not the only one. We have the people who pretend to be calm about the whole thing (me) and airily tell the rest of the office ‘ohhh you know…. That dress I’ve got’ whilst desperately thinking of slots to fit in shopping trips. Next, are the ones who genuinely hate shopping and are considering sporting the underpaid hooker dress. We have the strange, smug ones who actually bought something they love in October and simply need to slide into it on party night….. and then there’s the manic ones. The ones who come running back from their break, waving an IPhone in my face screaming ‘I’VE FOUND THE ONE. IT’S FOUR THOUSAND POUNDS BUT IT CAN BE MY NEXT 14 CHRISTMAS PRESENTS’ the pure hysteria in their eyes doesn’t subside until they are safely back at their own desk nursing a green tea and wondering how life got so intense.
Yes, The Christmas party dress can challenge the best of us. And this year is no different. Especially, as this year I made the biggest Christmas party outfit error. I bought the shoes first.
These glittery little beauties honestly winked at me from the pedestal I’d put them on. As far as I’m concerned, they are Christmas in a shoe.... for £35 at Next!!
Getting the shoes first can only mean one thing. The stress of dress shopping goes up a notch. For a start, you can’t take the shoes everywhere. A photo of them just doesn’t do them justice and you start to look mental holding your Blackberry against dresses trying to imagine the tiny Barbie shoe in real life.
Even if the shoe is black, I can practically guarantee you will buy a dress you think is perfect, get it home and want to throw it in the nearest skip. At this point, you will even possibly consider wearing your underwear to the party because it’s easier and the heels make you feel like a Victoria’s Secret Model (who has been gorging on mince pies).
Do not give up. Whilst Frank from accounts would love to see you in the hooker dress (or your underwear), you don’t want him following you around with the mistletoe all night. Take a deep breath and try again. Surely one of these festive lovelies will go with the glitter bomb-match nothing at all–darlings?!
If you can’t beat them, join them - enter this dress from asos.com. Made from exactly the same stuff as the shoes, and ensuring I wouldn’t look out of place on a Christmas tree, this will surely make me dazzle (or blind) my colleagues…
The very first time I saw Stella McCartney’s spotty dress, I thought I was going to cry with happiness…. When I spotted (I am SO hilarious) this little number, also from asos.com I DID cry with happiness. This revamped LBD is simply delicious and currently riding high on my wish list….
Finally, I didn’t think I would be taking inspiration from a TOWIE star for my party frock, but after seeing Billie Faiers in this figure hugging Hybrid number I decided Christmas might just need a little Essex magic. Red and gold EQUALS Christmas, right?! And at the end of the day, if I look like she does in it, I don’t suppose people will notice whether my shoes match or not. Winner!
Bring on shots with Frank from Accounts, bring on setting up the Secretary with the Security Guard, and in true Christmas party style…. Bring on slinging your arms around the Senior Management Team and singing ‘I wish it could be Christmas every dayyyyy’ whilst trying to spin their bow ties.
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