Fashion by definition is a new and ever evolving entity, and with London Fashion Week a little over a week away we’re days away from finding out just what direction our wardrobes will be taking come spring. But while the colours, textures and silhouettes we see on the catwalk will be changing the antics surrounding it won’t be. For at fashion week, no matter the season a number of things are guaranteed. As sure as black remains the colour we all cling to, and skinnies, the jean that refuses to die, battles shall be fought in the standing ticket queue. We’re getting the strangest feeling that all of this has happened before, a definite sense of fashion déjà vu. Here are our predictions for what you can expect at the coalface this fashion week…
Pouting ticketless blaggers blocking the entrance to shows causing pandemonium, the security guard’s high blood pressure, and a substantial fire risk.
The obligatory unknown outrageous cross-dresser who will be rewarded for his efforts with a large colour photo in The Metro as an example of ‘those crazy fashion folks’.
Ladies making a mistakement in killer heels by dramatically kissing the cobbles of the Somerset House courtyard and later fuelling a dramatic spike in sales of Compeed.
Front row controversy. From those channelling Tavi’s bow at Dior to fashion editors being made to ‘squash up’ to accommodate the cast of TOWIE and Geordie Shore.
Street style desperados dressed to the nines pretending to be heading to a show – they’re actually doing laps of the tent desperately hoping Face Hunter notices them.
Now that goodie bag numbers are in decline a positive mania has taken hold among not sat in the first two rows. The goodie-bag-gabbers top techniques for freebie-thievery include slyly hooking the handle around their ankle while dragging it away, and the classic blatant grab.
Fashion Tourists – Bemused pensioners in casual slacks and pastel knitwear will amble around Somerset House clutching guidebooks and mingling with London’s finest fashionistas.
The ‘mission’ venue. There are always a handful of shows beyond WC2 ending with tales of transport nightmares which forced you to mix with civilians. Forever to be talked of as if you went to a show on Everest or maybe Afghanistan.
The oversubscribed show – there’s one every season. 1,500 invites sent out for a venue with a 300 capacity resulting in an endless queue of people otherwise labelled misfits being honked at by passing cabbies. Fashion Armageddon.
And of course there will always be the fashion week twitter rumours that always go it a step too far, e.g.
“OMG, just heard Tom Ford IS showing at #LFW. Secret show @Greggs on The Strand!!!!”
Remember folks, you heard it here first.
The tribes of London Fashion Week
Which fashion tribe do you belong to?
Autumn/Winter 2011 trends A-Z
