Sex tip of the day: The facts about delayed ejaculation and how it can be treated

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You've heard of premature ejaculation, but many men are suffering with the opposite condition...

couple, relationship issues, sex issues

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Delayed ejaculation (also known medically as retarded ejaculation) is the third most common male sexual problem after erectile dysnfunction and premature ejaculation, which involves being able to get hard but not being able to ejaculate and/or orgasm during intercourse.

According to Dr David Delvin writing for NetDoctor.co.uk, this condition isn't easy to treat and only 58% of cases are significantly improved by treatment. Because this is far less common that the other two male sexual problems there's very little written on the subject, but many doctors argue the condition is psychological rather than physical.

At first it might seem like a novelty (one hour sex sessions!), but eventually couples become sore, frustrated and resentful that the other isn't doing 'their job'.

Typically, men who suffer from this have self-esteem issues and controlling personalities. Some have had a strict upbringing and have trouble letting go of their worries. In some cases, your partner may be experiencing stress, anxiety or nervousness in other areas of his life which is causing the problem. The inability to ejaculate during intercourse can also lead to a loss of sexual confidence, which can make the situation worse.

Other possible factors include fear of pregnancy, fear of germs and even latent homosexuality! It normally occurs in younger men and has very little to do with age (although the speed of orgasm can slow down as he gets older).

So, what's the solution? There's no instant cure and no drugs that will make him come, so experts recommend counselling to get to the root cause of the problem. Sometimes the problem can't be solved and doctors will recommend IVF and insemination to help couples with this issue to get pregnant.

However, if he's able to ejaculate when masturbating the issue might be down to a lack of friction during sex. Sometimes, if he's used to using a faster motion, he might not be able to come when moving at a faster pace inside you. Try using new hand job and blow job techniques that you've never tried before to see how he responds to the new stimulation.

Find out more: His first point-of-call should be the doctor, but there are other organisations he can approach to find help like Relate, The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT), the Institute of Psychosexual Medicine and the Sexual Advice Association.

Need some advice on how to talk about these awkward issues with your man? Take a look at our top advice for talking about sex problems in the gallery below...



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