The 7 day sex detox to improve your sex life

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Put your long-term relationship back on track with this week long sex detox. Step one, communicating...

Sex tip of the day
If you've lost that loving feeling, sex therapist Dr Lyndsey Myskow knows just how you and your partner can reignite the passion in just seven days.

The 7 day sex detox plan


Day 1: Talking


'Allow plenty of time for this because if the loss of the intimacy in your relationship has been longstanding, there may be lots of resentment and sadness to explore,' explains Dr Myskow.

'It is important that both of you have equal time to ventilate and be heard. If you are talking about painful issues it may help to repeat back what your partner has said to be sure that you understand them fully. If things are getting heated, agree to have a break and then meet up again a few hours later once you have both cooled off. No point in this being a slanging match.'

Day 2: Reflecting


'This time should be spent alone to really think about the other person's point of view; try to understand where they are coming from and consider how you can meet them half-way. You both might agree to send each other a letter about your thoughts.'

Day 3: Romancing


'Do something together you both enjoy; whether it is a walk in the country, a visit to an art gallery or a meal out. Be kind to each other so you both feel special. Keep the communication going, but perhaps on a lighter note. Laugh together if you can.'

Day 4: Cuddling


'Start, in a gentle way, the physical side of your relationship. Agree this will be low key with no great expectations beyond having nice feelings from being close with your partner.

This may take place in bed before you go to sleep or after you wake up, on the sofa watching TV. It often feels awkward to be intimate again so important to have a slow start with no-one feeling under pressure to perform in any particular way. Again keep the communication going – tell your partner what feels good rather than just assuming he or she will know.'

Day 5: Rekindling passion


'Remind each other about what turns you on. Remember together good sexual encounters from the past - the brain is your most powerful sexual organ so use it.

Talking about what turns you on results in physical arousal and if you both feel like expressing that arousal physically, go ahead. Be very aware of your partner and their feelings and keep talking throughout.'

Day 6 and 7 Consolidating


'The best advice I can give you is keep talking clearly about what you need and want in the hope that your partner will do the same,' continues Dr Myskow. 'Take the guesswork out of your sexual relationship then it is much less likely to go wrong. Use this week to draw a line in the sand and move ahead together to a much more fulfilling sex life.'

For further information and advice on sexual health, log on to sexualhealthscotland.co.uk

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