According to new research, almost seven out of ten women have faked an orgasm. Perhaps this isn't a big shocker, but the same research shows that nearly a third of men have done the same.
So why is reaching orgasm (and pretending that we're sexually satisfied when we're not) such a big deal?
Sexpert Tracey Cox believes we're all afraid of facing the 'negative consequences' of climax-free sex, including hurting a partner's feelings or admitting there is something wrong with the relationship.
In many cases, one half of a couple will pretend to orgasm because they know their partner has or will do imminently. According to Tracey, it is this pressure to finish (and prove that a partner has done their 'job' effectively) that has us all worrying about our time between the sheets.
She says, "One theory might be that since women fake it more often than men do, perhaps they feel obliged to provide 'evidence' that they're enjoying themselves?"
Scientists at the University of Kansas interviewed 281 male and female students and discovered that both men and women faked it because they felt under too much pressure to enjoy great sex.
The report said, "The emphasis on men's ability to give their partners 'earth-shaking orgasms' sometimes leads both women and men to pretend orgasm to meet these expectations."
But don't we all need to be more realistic? As Tracey points out only only 23% of women can orgasm through intercourse alone, plus she argues that "most women find it much easier to orgasm solo rather than with a partner because not only are they more relaxed on their own and not under pressure to perform, they can use the technique which works the best - direct clitoral stimulation".
Tracey, who has her own range of sex toys with Lovehoney, added: "82% of women want more oral sex because, running a close second to the vibrator, oral sex is often the most effective and pleasurable ways to make a female orgasm. Tongues are remarkably effective at stimulating the clitoris directly but gently, which is what women need to orgasm."
So, what's the answer? Be honest with your partner, explain why you're not reaching climax and spend time feeling comfortable with each others' bodies through foreplay and Tantric techniques before getting straight down to it!
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