These are two major schools of thinking when it comes to infidelity; either two people meet by some sudden twist of fate and both find themselves falling into an illicit relationship, or there are conditions within a relationship which force people to look elsewhere for connection, intimacy and ultimately, love.
But realistically the two schools go hand-in-hand. Someone has to want to play away and find themselves in a position to play away. There are no guarantees when it comes to protecting your relationship from adultery, but there are a few things you can do to better your chances...
Maintain the romance
Go away to a luxury hotel for Valentine's Day, surprise your partner, organise evenings out and reaffirm intimacy through kissing, cuddling and lots of non-sexual touching. You don't have to be together all the time, but the knowledge that there is someone loving, comforting and accepting by his side should stop him looking else where for affection.
Home Sweet Home
For lots of people, their home is not the safe haven it should be. Bringing your work stress home and constantly arguing over housework, chores or odd jobs will make your abode resemble a battleground. Realistically, someone who comes home to criticism is more likely to be driven into the arms of someone who offers affirmation and praise. It's just human nature.
Arguing is a part of life (and it's often a sign of passion) but endeavour to make your home the place where you can enjoy each others' company, laugh and play games. It's also worth tidying your bedroom to resemble a boudoir rather than a bedsit.
It's a cliché, but honesty really is the best policy. If you're feeling lonely, misunderstood or ignored you need to speak up and express your feelings before you cross the line with the office flirt. Honesty and open communication is just another form of intimacy, which works alongside sex, passion, trust and friendship to support a good relationship.
Avoid slouching in front of the TV together, make an effort to sit down for dinner and discuss your days. Even if he's stressed about his five-a-side football team it's not something to be trivialised. Time, attention and a caring nature will make you both feel important.
It takes two to tango, so it's important to make sure that you're both pulling your weight. If you rely on him for things, can he rely on you? Acknowledge the contribution he makes to your relationship - whether it's just fixing the dishwasher when it breaks or something bigger like financial support. If you're the one who calls the shots financially, or if he's going through a difficult time (lost his job, family drama, illness) make a point of proving he's not a burden by capitalising on his skills in other areas of your life. Both of you need to feel needed.
Be confident in yourself
Whether we like it or not, sex and personal confidence are crucial parts of any relationship. Asking for constant reassurance from your partner will eventually erode the intimacy between you and could encourage your partner to look for someone with an attractive self assurance. The moral of the story is it's not your partner's responsibility to make you feel good about yourself - it's yours. Follow your passions, do things you enjoy and be yourself. This type of personal honesty will keep the pair of you strong.
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