sex tip of the day: Beginners guide to Spanking

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Find your pleasure/pain limit with these sinful spanking tips...

Spanking paddle Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Collection

© Spanking paddle Fifty Shades of Grey Pleasure Collection

For some people, spanking is the perfect way to take foreplay up and notch, for others it's a recipe for disaster.

On a physical level, spanking increases blood flow and causes a spike in adrenaline that increases arousal and makes sex more exciting. Plus, sexperts believe that its taboo reputation makes the act of spanking even more of a turn-on for the average Brit.

If you're willing to explore your BDSM side, take a look at our spanking for beginners tips and tricks below...

1. If you don't ask you don't get

If you're confident enough, just ask your partner straight out if he'd be willing to try spanking. If you're a bit more sheepish, read him an extract from a dirty book to gauge his reaction or watch a kinky BDSM porn scene together. If he's really turned off you can save yourself the embarrassment of bringing it up.

2. Set a keyword

With any kind of BDSM play it's crucial to set a few keywords. Pick random words that signify 'stop', 'slow down' or 'softer' and ensure that when they're said both of you take note.

3. Start with foreplay

Going straight in to spanking probably isn't the best idea, you will need to feel some sort of sexual arousal before you find any spanking a turn on. As a general rule think of spanking as something that comes way after kissing, but slightly before oral.

4. How to spank

If you're ready to spank (or he's ready to spank you) there aren't many rules, but sexperts recommend starting with light strokes with your fingertips like you're tickling. Next place one palm on a bum cheek and one on the genitals. With your hand slightly cupped, keep your fingers together and spank in an upwards motion. This feels better than a downwards stroke and shouldn't leave unsightly welts. After the slap, rub the area in circles and put pressure on the genitals so the pain is automatically followed by pleasure.

5. Go hard or go home

If all this goes well you can move on to the big leagues - Fifty Shades of Grey style. Spanking paddles, toys and carefully selected whips can all be used in the pursuit of pleasure. Just make sure everyone agrees and is happy with the decision to take things up a gear. Remember your keywords and have fun.

6. Work up to role play

Bondage and spanking go hand-in-hand with role play games. Sometimes this helps the submissive partner to feel more relaxed and allows the dominant partner to unleash their sexual confidence. If you want to learn more about role play, take a look at our expert guide here.

Fifty Shades of Grey Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle, £24.99, Lovehoney.co.uk.

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