Detox your love life & prepare your mind for dating

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Examine your mind-set to get the love life you deserve...

love
If you're looking for a long-term relationship, positivity and how you think about dates can have a big impact on your love life.

In the fourth week of this detox plan, Jenni Trent Hughes, relationship advice expert for eHarmony.co.uk looks at how to prepare your mind for success...

'You now know the difference between what you want and what you need. You also understand that to have a new healthy relationship, you must re-establish the balance you lost from the end of your old one. Now it's time to prepare your mind; to discover the motivation you need to create a new, successful relationship in which you will flourish and be happy.

Let's start by thinking of Usain Bolt.

Before Usain Bolt sets off on a race what do you think he says to himself. Is it "I'm not in the mood for this, running is a mug's game and what's the point anyway, everyone else is faster than me," or does he just say "Right, let's go win this...."

Think of finding future love like being a starting line.

The most important thing right now is to take a long hard look at your mind-set. What is the voice inside your head telling you? Does it say "This is going to be sooooo much fun, I can hardly wait!"

Or does it say "This is going to be yet another disaster. I hate this. Why do I keep putting myself through this?"

In life you get what you focus on. We all know that and we all say it; but how many of us really believe it? Well it's true. Ask Mr. Bolt or anyone else you see as a phenomenal success in whatever they do. What do they tell themselves before they start? What are their expectations?

Ask yourself the following questions:
1. What do you think about relationships in general?
2. How do you think you are at creating and handling relationships?
3. Do you think you are capable of being in a successful relationship?

Write your answers down and be sure to write the first sentence that comes into your head. Which of Usain's answers is it more like?

If you're anything like most of us it will be more along the lines of "I just can't seem to do this relationship thing properly".

Well you can, you most certainly can!

Take a fresh piece of paper, or open a new document on your laptop and rewrite your answers to those three questions above but this time write the statements in a positive way.

Talk like a winner, think like a winner and guess what - you'll be a winner! You might not end up with a handful of gold medals but you'll be that much closer to what you really want - a happy, successful, long-term relationship.'

Missed Jenni's other steps? Catch up here...

Step Three: What's holding you back?

Step Two: Stop playing the blame game

Step One: Identifying a partner

Are you guilty of negative thinking when it comes to dating? Leave a comment below to be in with a chance of winning a £100 goodie bag





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