detox your love life in six weeks: step three

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What's holding you back from finding true love? Jenni Trent Hughes has a few ideas...

love
In part three of our relationship detox plan, love guru and life coach Jenni Trent Hughes from eHarmony.co.uk reveals how we should all be 'preparing our hearts' to find love. Ask yourself the simple questions about your past relationships below and discover what's holding you back.

Over to you love Jenni…

"One of the most important steps in accomplishing a goal or completing a project successfully is preparation. The same applies to your heart. If it's been bashed about, broken or even just sprained you will need to be sure that it's back in good working order before you use it again.

If you are trying to prepare your heart to find love again, answer the questions below honestly, then take a look at the ' key' to reveal the right advice step for this week.

Question 1. What are you most afraid of now?
a) That this was your only chance at happiness, so now you're destined to be alone forever.
b) That there is no point trying with someone else because your heart will only get broken again.
c) That you don't know how to change yourself into someone who would be considered a 'perfect partner'.

Question 2. What are you most upset about?
a) That this person is no longer in your life.
b) That the fairytale didn't have a happy ending after all.
c) That people will think less of you because the relationship 'failed'.

Advice Key:

Question 1: If you answered a) The amount of chances at happiness that you get is related to your expectations. It is sometimes difficult to imagine opening yourself up again, but you can, will and should; Just not too soon. If you answered b) Repeat after me, 'If at first you don't succeed then try, try again'. Before you do this however it is crucial that you take a look at what happened in the past to see if there are things you could do differently in the future.

If you answered c) Many of us immediately fall into the trap of thinking: 'What do I have to change to get someone to want me?' Stop it! And stop it immediately! Only change things about yourself if it's for you, and never go against your nature in order to please someone else.

Question 2: If you answered a) It is perfectly natural to feel sad, but they were obviously not the right person for you and as long as they 'occupy space' there will be no room for the right person to appear. If you answered b) A successful relationship isn't a fairytale so there is no need for you to sit on a toadstool hoping for a happy ending.

If you answered c) Everyone has, at one time or another, been through a break-up. Your friends and family love and care about you and will be supportive; no one else matters. The worst thing that many of us do when a relationship ends is to rush right out and try to find a new one to make the pain go away. It usually doesn't work, and if it does, the blissful feeling is often temporary and you can be left feeling worse than you did before."

See what you missed in Step 1: Identifying a partner and Step 2: Understanding past relationships.

What do you think? Leave a comment below to be in with a chance of winning a £100 goodie bag.

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