Six Week Love Life Detox Plan: Step one

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Regain control of your love life with our six week relationship detox plan...

love
Forget tricks and game-playing, it's time to detox your love life and take control.

Life coach and eHarmony's resident relationship expert Jenni Trent Hughes has developed this plan to help you stop kissing frogs and hoping they'll turn into royalty.

Using common sense advice, this six week plan will help give you the confidence and techniques to get the love life you deserve.

Step One: Identifying a partner

Pull together a short list of the five things you would like to have in a partner. This should take no more than three minutes to do, as the results need to be the very first thing that pops into your head.

Be strict and true to the time, as you want to find out what's in your subconscious because that is what will really govern your choices and your actions.

Next, take an individual look at each trait that you've identified and note the following:

1. On a scale of 1-10 with one being 'not particularly bothered' and 10 being 'I couldn't exist without it' rate the importance of this quality to you.

2. How many of the qualities that you've listed were present in your last 3 relationships?

3. Before this moment how much thought have you ever given to what you really need to be present in a relationship for you to be happy?

It is important to decipher whether these qualities are a want or a need. Many times we opt for the 'wants' in relationships as opposed to what we really 'need' from one. So look again at your list and decide which camp your traits fall into...

The Key

If the score is 1 - 5 then the quality is a Want.

If it is 5 - 8 it is a Need.

If the rating is 9 or above then don't even think about going there if the person doesn't have this quality whatever it may be.

This will give you a clear picture as to whether so far in your relationship history you've been picking Wants or Needs.

Remember there is no wrong or right, it's just that choosing according to wants means you're gambling against the odds that it will all work out in the end.

If you choose according to needs you stand a better chance of a long lasting relationship because in the end if you need something you believe you cannot exist without it.

The big wisdom

Finally, look at the answers you've given to the questions above, compare the actions you've taken in the past to the results you've achieved.

Are there things you've gotten right - note them so you can include them in the plan to improve your love life. Similarly note anything you see as a problem area so you can include some techniques to remove them from your behaviour patterns.

Now you're well on the way to detoxing your love life!

Next week, Step Two: Use life experience and learn from past mistakes

Does your love life need an overhaul? Leave a comment below to be in with a chance of winning a £100 goodie bag

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