When you're at a bar chatting to your date (or perhaps someone you've just met) and you start to feel 'the spark' how can you take the conversation from the crowded pub to the bedroom?
Debby Herbenick and Grant Stoddard, authors of Great in Bed: Thrill the Body...Blow the Mind argue that, at this point, exchanging numbers or planning another date is skirting the issue. If you're both looking for sex, there's nothing wrong with going for it.
Here's their advice to help you make the bar-to-bedroom transition...
1. Do your homework
Through a series of casual and conversational questions, deduce whether they actually want to move things along. Ask him something like, 'What are you up to for the rest of the week?'. If he gives a long list of jobs and mentions and early start tomorrow, he might not be ready for a night of wild passion.
2. Get geographical
Hopefully, throughout the course of your conversation you've discovered where he lives. If you're planning to go back to his, stay safe; make sure you know the area and how to get home from there if the evening doesn't go to plan.
If he lives nearby and you want to hint at going to his, mention how much you like the area and a few restaurants or shops that you've visited - anything to show him that you're not nervous about taking the next step.
3. Be bold
You don't have to have Hitch-style pick up lines to get what you want. Treat him like an adult and be honest. There's nothing wrong with saying 'Do you want to get out of here?. This will get the ball rolling and assert your confidence (something that most men find a turn-on).
4. Don't wait around
Nothing will diffuse the sexual tension like standing in the cold waiting for the bus for 30 minutes. Jump in a cab to make sure the sexual charge you've built up doesn't fade away.
5. Make sure you're prepared
You'll feel more in control if you move from the bar to your bedroom rather than his. Be realistic about how you left your room or flat. Does it need cleaning? Are there dirty clothes all over the floor? It's worth building some cleaning into your getting-ready routine so your place always looks presentable.
Plus, it goes without saying, but make sure you have plenty of condoms ready. Just in case.
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