We think we've cracked it! After years of reading Twilight books, watching Twilight films and reading about other people's interpretations of those books and films, we've finally discovered what Stephanie Meyer was trying to teach us all along.
Here's what we've learnt about love, life, dating, sex and relationships from the Twilight Saga...
1. It's okay to sneak into someone's bedroom at night and watch them sleep...if you're secretly in love with them.
In Twilight (part one) we learn that a lovesick Edward has been climbing through Bella's window and watching her sleep. Weirdly, Bella never actually seems to mind that a guy she barely knows has been spending hours hiding in the darkened corners of her bedroom. So, now we know what we need to do - climb up his drainpipe (no euphemism intended), fall through his window and sit on the end of his bed. If he wakes up we'll just give convoluted answers about romance and calming, peaceful serenity of his human life...
2. You don't need a job, you just need a man.
Bella loves Edward. Edward loves Bella. The two of them want to live a long, happy, undead life together. We get it. IT'S ROMANTIC. But we've also learnt that you don't need to worry about school or university or the possibility of a fulfilling career if you've got a gorgeous sparkly man by your side. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Germaine Greer.
3. You're family will be fine with you adopting a not-quite-sure-how-old-they-are child!
Bella's wonderful Dad, Charlie Swan is supposed to be a hardened cop dealing with endless deaths by 'wild animal bites' and the like. So when Bella introduces him to her 'adopted' child Renesmee, who is actually her half-vampire daughter with Edward, good-old Charlie just takes it on the chin and accept the whole affair. The lesson here is simple, you can blatantly lie to your family and get away with it. Result.
4. If he leaves you, go into a coma until he gets back
Heartbreak is rotten, but when Edward leaves Bella in New Moon she goes catatonic for months on end. Now we know not to get back on the horse, spend time with friends or meet new people, all we have to do is sit and cry until he comes back. Ace!
5. It's okay to let your werewolf best friend fall in love with your baby
Nah, we haven't learnt anything from this plot twist...it's just downright creepy.
What do you think?
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