Boost your sexual energy
Lost interest in sex? You're not alone. We give you the lowdown on the issues surrounding loss of libido and key tips and techniques to power up your bedroom performance!
Nowadays, it's hard to avoid being regaled with tales of other people's sexual appetites. Libido is the must-have thing of the moment, and it's easy to get the impression that the whole world, with the possible exception of yourself, is positively brimming with it. So how can you increase your libido?
What is libido?
The word derives from the Latin word for lust. A better description would probably be sexual appetite, and like all appetites, it varies from one person to another, and varies from time to time for the individual. It is subject to a lot of external influences, and so can be high at some times and low at others.
What is a 'normal' libido?
If you exclude the extremes of libido, everything else in between can be regarded as normal for some people. Few people with a high sex drive seek help or feel concerned about it, whereas those who think that they have a low sex drive often seek advice. So what is average?
There have been lots of surveys about levels of sexual activity, and it is hard to assess the honesty and accuracy of the responses to the survey questions. However, one UK survey found that:
40% of adult couples make love more than 3 times a week 35% make love once or twice a week 15% make love 2-3 times a month 9% of couples make love less than this or not at all.
A large American survey found that the average couple make love 10.4 times a month. The frequency reduced as the duration of the relationship increased.
So how common is low libido?
Some people have a constantly low libido, whereas others experience episodes of loss of libido. For those with a naturally low libido, this is usually only a problem if there is a mis-match with the sexual partner. For those people who have enjoyed a more highly developed libido, loss of libido can be very worrying, and help is often sought.
Surveys suggest that:
20% of adults of all ages are dissatisfied with their sex life Loss of libido affects about 20% of the population at any one time 30% of middle-aged women suffer from loss of libido.
What factors are known to reduce libido?
Common contributors include sexual familiarity/boredom, tiredness, stress, hormones, many commonly prescribed drugs, the children, illness, too much alcohol, too much food and too many other things that need to be done. Some of these contributory problems can be worked on to great effect, and a determined effort to put your love life back into a more prominent position on your list of priorities, can make a big difference.
What else can you do to boost libido?
Work on your self-image. It's hard to get sexy if you feel like a box of frogs! Pamper yourself, treat yourself to some inviting perfume, buy some nice underwear, maybe have a facial, or buy some nice body products. If you think you're looking desirable, you're more likely to be confident and receptive.
Keep an eye on alcohol intake. In small quantities, alcohol has an aphrodisiac effect on women. Two units of alcohol appear to have maximum effect. Larger volumes have the opposite effect. These alcohol effects may be attributed to effects on female testosterone levels. Testosterone levels are closely linked with libido.
Try to get enough sleep. Terminal exhaustion and sexy don't mix.
General lack of fitness, and specifically lack of exercise can reduce libido via effects on hormone balance and metabolism. Regular, moderately energetic exercise for around 30 minutes a day can help to increase sex drive. The endorphin rush and energised feeling immediately after exercising can be used to good effect (if the time and place are suitable), but longer term effects of regular exercise are thought to be due to creating a beneficial hormone balance. But beware of over-exercising. This can be counterproductive by lowering testosterone levels.
Eat a good balanced diet. Lack of vitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids can lead to hormone imbalances that can seriously affect libido.
Try some 'aphrodisiac foods'. Much has been written about the aphrodisiac properties of certain foods like oysters, but less well-known foods lay claim to aphrodisiac benefits. Truffles, chocolate, vanilla, mangoes, ginger, garlic, oats, bananas and caviar all appear on the list. The results are unreliable at best, but trying them out might be interesting!
A good vitamin and mineral supplement may help to improve libido, especially in women whose eating pattern isn't satisfactory. It has been estimated that only 10% of people follow an eating pattern that provides all the necessary micronutrients, so a supplement may even help women with good eating habits.
Several herbal preparations are promoted as sexual enhancers and are referred to as prosexual herbs. As with many other areas of herbal practice, there have been very few clinical trials to support the claims made for herbal aphrodisiacs, and as I am not a herbal practitioner, I can't sensibly comment on their use. I will however list a few, and suggest that further information can possibly be obtained from a reputable herbalist. So here are a few: black cohosh, agnus castus, ginkgo, ginseng, horny goat weed (yes, that is its real name!), wild yam and sarsaparilla.
Cut down on smoking, or even better, stop altogether. Smoking reduces oestrogen levels in women and has a long-term detrimental effect on sex drive. In men, smoking cigarettes lowers testosterone levels, and one study showed that the association between quality of erection and the number of cigarette smoked was not a favourable one!
Check with your doctor that you are not taking medications that are known to reduce libido, and ask about alternatives. Drugs that can cause problems include certain heart and blood pressure medications, tranquillisers, anti-depressants, steroids, some anti-histamines, oral contraceptive pills, and some cholesterol lowering drugs.
It was once famously said that the most potent sexual organ is the brain. So think sexy, imagine sexy, and consider reading sexy or romantic books, or watching sexy or romantic films. It can all help to switch the brain from harassed mode to libido mode, and every little helps.
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