In fact, quite the opposite. Which is why we headed to The Dorchester to sample their champagne afternoon tea. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.
The Promenade, where the tea is served, stretches the length of the hotel and is all intimate alcoves, plush chairs and soft furnishings.
The delicate mint green and silver tableware is every pastel fan's dream come true.
You are also serenaded by a pianist while you sip your champers. It doesn't get much posher than that. Score: 5/5
For all you crust haters out there, The Dorchester's selection of finger sandwiches are heaven.
Freshly baked white and brown breads are filled with smoked salmon, chicken, egg, cucumber and cream cheese. We had seconds. Score: 5/5
While there is a special Wimbledon-themed afternoon tea (pictured), we went for the classic selection. Except it was anything but.
Think coconut and mango panna cotta, chocolate and raspberry eclair, strawberry cheesecake and chocolate ganache cake. Divine doesn't begin to describe it. Score: 5/5
Still warm, tick. Choice of plain and raison, tick. Glistening strawberry jam and fresh clotted cream, check! Score: 5/5
You just cannot go wrong with a chilled glass of Laurent Perrier Rosé Champagne Cuvée Brut NV.
Choosing a tea was no mean feat, considering the huge tea list. We settled for Paris, a black tea blend flavoured with currants, bergamot and caramel. Score: 5/5
THE LOWDOWN (PRICES)
Laurent-Perrier Cuvée Rosé afternoon tea is £59 per person, and a traditional afternoon tea is £45. Not cheap, but a great birthday treat.
We're still on our hunt for the best afternoon tea in London, so if you know any hidden gems, tweet us @handbagcom
FANCY PANTS AFTERNOON TEA AT THE GORING
ALL ABOARD THE AFTERNOON TEA BUS!