Geri Halliwell's latest single Half of Me has been less than successful, selling only 393 copies. Wow.
Only released in Australia last month after her turn as a judge on Australia's Got Talent, the single hit the dizzy heights of number 281 in the charts. Awkward.
To be fair, it is proper rubbish (sorry Geri).
Firstly the lyrics are horrendous. Here are our favourites:
'Just like an apple cut down the middle / I only have one matching half'
'I gave you the finger, you took me to dinner.'
'You're better than chocolate / You're right in the pocket'
'I wanna have your baby / Gotta have you like crazy / And iron your shirts.'
So much wrong with all of that. Then there's the video.
Low budget doesn't even describe it. After a group watch at Handbag HQ (what? It was a slow day) - comments ranged from, 'It looks like she walked down to her local supermarket and asked people to dance about her,' and 'Dancing bears? Really? Because that worked so well for Miley.'
Then there's the dance routine, her girlish outfit, the lyrics, did we mention the lyrics, and the fact that you can't get it out of your head. It's like torture, we want to give up the information - we just don't know what Geri Halliwell wants to know!
MILEY CYRUS SLAMMED AT CMAS
LADY GAGA TO SING IN SPACE. SERIOUSLY.
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