Seven ways to fake it before you make it

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Seven savvy tips to get your groove back, by Alaina Vieru.

Woman in boxing gloves
Like the perfect jeans or red lipstick, confidence is something that's desperately wanted yet difficult to find. But want to know a secret? Being confident is easier than you think. The 'fake it till you make it' approach has been proven to work - and surprisingly fast. Try these seven savvy tips to get your groove back. They're small, simple and not what you'd imagine.

Have girl crushes

We've all thought, 'I wish I could be like her.' Whether it's your stylish sister, the mate who radiates happiness, or the friend who landed her dream job, try mimicking their admirable traits. Even better: get them to take you shopping, share their positivity, or coach you for that interview. They'll be flattered and you'll learn something new (like they've been faking it themselves).

Thank your lucky stars

Be grateful for what you have: limbs that work, loved ones who are still alive, and food on the table. Cheesy? Yes. But it can work on many levels. The next time you're feeling low, remind yourself: I might not be/have the best (fill in the blank), but at least I'm not/don't have the worst (fill in the blank). Someone will always be better than you in some respect. But you'll always be better than someone else, too.

Be here now

Ever looked at old photos of when you were younger? Chances are, you can't believe how beautiful you were and wished you knew it at the time. The same goes with jobs, friends and relationships. Instead of trying to turn back the clock, live in the moment and appreciate the good in what you have now.

Compete only with yourself

Be the best self you can be. There's no point going through life with one eye on everyone else's progress or wishing you could be someone different. You'll be so busy making comparisons that you won't have the energy or motivation to identify what really matters to you. Define your own beauty and your own path. Once you can stand up and be proud of your uniqueness, so will others.

Don't try so hard

Ever notice how the coolest people are the ones who try the least? The same goes with confidence. Instead, try to be 'engaged' in life, not just dwelling on it. Do something to distract yourself. Read a book, participate in an activity or spend time with friends who allow you to stop worrying and just live.

Be selfish and indulge in what you love

It's so easy to focus on the things we don't like in life that we rarely notice the things we do like. Surround yourself with things that you truly love. Not because they're in fashion, but because they make you feel warm and happy. And every time you look in the mirror only focus on your best features - you don't look for the flaws in your friends, so why do it to yourself?

It's okay to blame someone else

We all need to take personal responsibility, but don't fall into the trap of blaming yourself every time something goes wrong. Optimists believe life's knocks have little to do with them, and therefore succeed because they keep trying. When you're standing alone at a party, don't think: "I'm such a loser!" Instead think: "Where's my friend? I'd never invite her to one of my parties and not introduce her to anyone!" Sometimes, it's really not you; it's them.
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