This is why he is the king of Lake Como - the classiest of all the Mediterranean bodies of water.
Don't incite religious hate:
"It says they joke about traditions in the Druze religion that end up with the death of the bride.
Let me repeat that: the death of the bride."
It is actually a illegal:
"The irresponsibility, in this day and age, to exploit religious differences where none exist, is at the very least negligent and more appropriately dangerous.
We have family members all over the world, and the idea that someone would inflame any part of that world for the sole reason of selling papers should be criminal."
Freedom of real speech must be upheld:
"I'm the son of a newsman; I accept the idea that freedom of speech can be an inconvenience to my private life from time to time, but this story, like so many others, is picked up by hundreds of other outlets citing the Daily Mail as their source."
Some Daily Mail madness is funny:
"I don't care. If they fabricate stories of Amal being pregnant, or that the marriage will take place on the set of Downton Abbey, or that I'm running for office."
But really it's a lot of lies:
"The Daily Mail, more than any other organisation that calls itself news, has proved time and time again that facts make no difference in the articles they make up."
The final word:
"They must be so very proud."
George Clooney, you may be the best.
The paper has since responded, "The MailOnline story was not a fabrication but supplied in good faith by a reputable and trusted freelance journalist... We only became aware of Mr Clooney's concerns this morning and have launched a full investigation.
However, we accept Mr Clooney's assurance that the story is inaccurate and we apologise to him, Miss Amal Alamuddin and her mother, Baria, for any distress caused."
Hot men in white T-shirts, because we're not as classy as George
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