Life skills: How to win a water fight

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The battle field? Your garden. The weapon? A big ass water pistol. Roll out.

water gun
Be a water fight war lord this summer and commando roll your way to victory.

With the heatwave set to stay for the month, laugh in the face of hose pipe bans and launch full scale water warfare on your nearest and dearest.

Lock and load people – it's time to get drenched.

1. Choose your weapon
Strategy is futile if your artillery sucks. Ensure you have a big gun loaded with water, a little pistol ready in your back pocket (or down the front of your shorts if you want to get all Pulp Fiction on this), some empty water bombs and a bottle of water stashed for emergency refills.

2. Know your terrain
Have the upper hand by knowing the battle field in advance. Taking place in your garden? Perfect. Plan strategic hiding spots, routes that will take you back to refilling stations and vantage points for you to snipe your opponents.

3. Be prepared
Hide some water bottles around the battle field in advance and never get caught short of ammo. A bit geeky? Maybe – but this is war people.

4. Standard issue uniform
A maxi dress? Are you kidding? Get back inside immediately and change corporal. Shorts, vest top, swimwear – anything you can run in, and will not weigh you down when wet is key to success. Shoes optional.

5. Practice shots
No one just grabs a weapon and takes on their opponents. Have you not seen the movies? First you must practice (preferably with a sensei). Set up some toys, take aim and practice when no one is around. Only good shots win water fights.



6. Low tech weapons have a high impact
Bucket of water over the head? Victory.

7. Water bombs for the final showdown
Make a supply of water bombs and store them in an easy to carry bag for a final showdown. But be warned – they have a tendency to go off without warning. Don't take down any of your own men by accident.

8. Wear protection
Sunglasses are essential for any battle. Swimming goggles are even better.

9. Do your homework
Watch action movies and learn some key phrases you can throw down while commando rolling out of a hedge. 'Say hello to my little friend' from Scarface is a good place to start.

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