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Losing a friend to suicide
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One of my dear friends killed himself last week and has just been discovered. I don't know if I can bear to say more than that on it at the moment. . I don't feel anger, or that he was selfish. But it's still early days I appreciate. I know some baggers have experience of this and if you would not mind sharing your feelings and how you dealt with it I would appreciate this also. Thank you.
lily, im so sorry i have no experience on this, but couldnt not reply. i cant beleive all the heartache you have had to endure this past 12 months or so. im so so sorry. :hugs: X 10000000000000000000000 xxx
Lily I am so sorry that you are going through this. Give yourself some time - it will probably take quite a while for you to come to terms with. Hugs and kisses x
Oh Lily, no! I'm so sorry. 
Not much I can add, but just wanted to say something, even if it's ineffectual x
Not much I can add, but just wanted to say something, even if it's ineffectual x
Oh God Lily, I'm so sorry to hear this:( Bloody hell you've been through the mill lately, I don't know what to say but I'm so sorry to hear that and if you just want to get stuff out we're all here. xxxxxx
How utterly horrible. Although I don't have much experience of this, I think a lot of times when someone close to you takes their own life, you are filled with feelings of blame - you were their friend, you should have noticed something wasn't right, you let them down etc. It's important that you don't dwell on feelings like this - some people are so good at hiding their feelings that it's impossible to know what is going on inside their head. A young lad I was at school with committed suicide when we were 14 or so, and all anyone could say for weeks afterwards was that he had always been happy and laughing and how could he have killed himself when he didn't even seem sad? Suicide really is so senseless, you just want to go back in time and tell them that it isn't worth it, everything can be fixed somehow, but you never get that chance. Anyway sorry for waffling on, take care of yourself Lily
Although I don't have much experience of this, I think a lot of times when someone close to you takes their own life, you are filled with feelings of blame - you were their friend, you should have noticed something wasn't right, you let them down etc. It's important that you don't dwell on feelings like this - some people are so good at hiding their feelings that it's impossible to know what is going on inside their head. A young lad I was at school with committed suicide when we were 14 or so, and all anyone could say for weeks afterwards was that he had always been happy and laughing and how could he have killed himself when he didn't even seem sad? Suicide really is so senseless, you just want to go back in time and tell them that it isn't worth it, everything can be fixed somehow, but you never get that chance. Anyway sorry for waffling on, take care of yourself Lily
Lily, I'm so very sorry to hear this news. My heart goes with you dearest. People cope in different ways so my experiences or anyone else's won't be the same as what yours will be. What I do know is that you have to let yourself be human - to let yourself feel. The range of emotions that comes along - anger (at them and yourself for not being there or seeing the signs), pain, remorse, bitterness, even the classic denial of what's happened, are all perfectly natural. So, I can tell you not to question yourself or to force how you feel. It takes time to sink in sometimes and when it does, remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel about it. Take care of yourself, Lily. If you need to chat, you know where to find us.
People cope in different ways so my experiences or anyone else's won't be the same as what yours will be. What I do know is that you have to let yourself be human - to let yourself feel. The range of emotions that comes along - anger (at them and yourself for not being there or seeing the signs), pain, remorse, bitterness, even the classic denial of what's happened, are all perfectly natural. So, I can tell you not to question yourself or to force how you feel. It takes time to sink in sometimes and when it does, remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel about it. Take care of yourself, Lily. If you need to chat, you know where to find us.
I am so sorry. MissFluff is spot on with the feelings of balme, guilt, anger the lot will come. A friend of mine commited suicide a year last November. He had problems, couldn't come to terms with things, it was so pointless the things he was so worried about didn't matter to everyone that loved him for who he was. The way he got the tablets to do it makes me 
because that person will have to live with that, (that sounds like the other person was to blame, they weren't) I dont know much about his relationship with them and maybe there was a reason for that, dont know. Over a year on it doesn't quite seem real and if he walked in now I wouldn't bat an eye. When we talk about him now he's refered to as "***** stupid %&*$#" The way we came to terms with it was that it was what he wanted, if he'd been killed in say a car accident it would be a tragedy but this was a choice. Not that it's justified. MissFluff's experience was that he hid his feelings well, my friend didn't. A couple of months before we'd had a drunked night and he's 1/2 opened up to something I already knew but didn't want to push it. Then he went quiet. The number of times I've thought one of us should have pushed it etc. The day I got the phone call, before I was told I knew what he'd done, not that it had crossed my mind he'd do that before. He was a lovely man and he is very much missed. It doesn't leave you but as with anything you find a way. xx
because that person will have to live with that, (that sounds like the other person was to blame, they weren't) I dont know much about his relationship with them and maybe there was a reason for that, dont know. Over a year on it doesn't quite seem real and if he walked in now I wouldn't bat an eye. When we talk about him now he's refered to as "***** stupid %&*$#" The way we came to terms with it was that it was what he wanted, if he'd been killed in say a car accident it would be a tragedy but this was a choice. Not that it's justified. MissFluff's experience was that he hid his feelings well, my friend didn't. A couple of months before we'd had a drunked night and he's 1/2 opened up to something I already knew but didn't want to push it. Then he went quiet. The number of times I've thought one of us should have pushed it etc. The day I got the phone call, before I was told I knew what he'd done, not that it had crossed my mind he'd do that before. He was a lovely man and he is very much missed. It doesn't leave you but as with anything you find a way. xx
Oh Lily, I'm very sorry for your loss. 
You really are having a time of it lately. I had a friend who committed suicide in February, and it has had a profound effect on me for several reasons. There isn't a 'right' way to feel or grieve and as Angie said you will probably go through a complete spectrum of emotions. Again, I am very sorry for your loss Lily.
You really are having a time of it lately. I had a friend who committed suicide in February, and it has had a profound effect on me for several reasons. There isn't a 'right' way to feel or grieve and as Angie said you will probably go through a complete spectrum of emotions. Again, I am very sorry for your loss Lily.
Lily About 14 years ago a close friend lost his sister. I met her a few times. It was such a shame as she was only 21 or 22 at the time. She had everything to live for. But she mixed with the wrong people and joined a religious cult. Her parents were too busy looking after elderly rellies at home while she was at uni. She was at the same uni as my close friend but they had totally different lives. Also the mother was disabled so she had many problems. My close friend had a girlfriend so he did not see her much. These factors made the family ignore her cries for help and being in a religious cult did not help matters. However a lot of people only realised what her problems was and it was too late to help her. About 145 people went to her funeral. Sometimes people do not realise that person actually needs help. I was not really friends with her so I did not do anything. I had to help my close friend through it at the time. It takes time to grieve and to come to terms with it.
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