It is my Nan's funeral on friday :(

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Subject: It is my Nan's funeral on friday :(

I'm a bit late in posting this really, as my nan died two weeks ago on saturday. But the reality seems to be sinking in today and I have broken down in tears

[http://community.handbag.com/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-frown.gif]

It wasn't a nice way to go, she was in pain and when the nurses tried to resusitate her she had the look of total fear on her face as she took her last breath. I can't get the image of her face, out of my head.

She had 16 of us there at the hospital that day, she got us all together-the only positive side to this story. Family members who had fallen out, and hadn't spoken in years, actually realised life is too short to be acting like this. My own brother hasn't spoken to me in three years, he hugged me and i told him i'd missed him. This is what makes me feel even more emotional.

I've never had to deal with death before, i'm not sure how i should be reacting...i don't know if it's normal to be so up and down...it's like being on an emotional rollarcoaster. I can pull through some days, pretending i'm fine, others like today i just have to let it all out

Her funeral is on Friday, and i'm dreading it so much...this is it, the end. She isn't here any more. I can't believe it.

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kcatuk
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Subject: It is my Nan's funeral on friday :(

I'm a bit late in posting this really, as my nan died two weeks ago on saturday. But the reality seems to be sinking in today and I have broken down in tears

Her funeral is on Friday, and i'm dreading it so much...this is it, the end. She isn't here any more. I can't believe it.

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Lilyuk2
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Subject: It is my Nan's funeral on friday :(

Kcat, I've only just seen this and hope that today goes as well as it can.

It is funny how grief and bereavement can bring up such positive things - like the family reunion. Losing someone close makes you realise that petty arguments or disagreements aren't worth it. My first big grief was my grandpa and it hit me hard for a long time. I realised that I was all Growed Up now and that people I'd taken for granted weren't always going to be around. It is quite scary.

It's very early days, so the emotional rollercoaster is to be expected! Talk about your gran, perhaps frame a special photo of her or write her a poem. I chatted to my grandpa for a while after he died just telling him I missed him. It's been 3 years now and I found out some stuff about him a year after his death which upset me a good deal so perhaps I have pushed him to the back of my mind, but it doesn't hurt as it did.

Let us know how the funeral goes. xxx

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Potionuk
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Subject: It is my Nan's funeral on friday :(

Hello Kcat,

I've just seen your thread too and wanted to offer my support to you. I hope that the funeral has gone as well as expected and that the service was what you wanted. I realise you'll be feeling raw right now and hope you're ok?

P xx

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kcatuk
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I have just returned to handbag, thank you for the replies potion and lily.

The funeral was lovely, my nan would have loved the music my mom and her other children had picked out for the service at the church. It was the first time I had actually cried infront of my husband (about my nan), i've found it hard talking to him for some reason. I felt like a young child again wanting my mom.

My mom coped well, untill it reached the first month of her death-a song came on the radio and it just sets it off again. She's missing talking to her mom on the phone each night, she even rang the number one night...knowing she wasn't there but had a strange need to ring it.

I've got a lot of things going around in my head still, not all related to my nan but i've had trouble sleeping with so much to think about.

kat.

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Lilyuk2
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Subject: It is my Nan's funeral on friday :(

It's not surprising - you've suffered a great loss and it will take a while to come to terms with losing your nan. It sounds like her funeral was a good send-off for a well loved lady. I would say, just cry ... don't be ashamed of it... it will help you to heal.

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