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vc1967
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Subject: Should I end it?

Need some advice. I met a lovely man via a dating site in November last year. He's a great guy and we get on brilliantly in many ways... We just returned from our first holiday together (a ski holiday with a whole bunch of his friends) and while we were there I just started to look at him differently, the way he spoke, laughed etc. little silly things just started to annoy me. And I coudln't stop it... I felt I loved this guy and he is really so generous and loving but I seem to have lost that loving feeling. I don't know why, there is nothing specific I can say but my feelings have changed... On the way back I think he sensed I was different as he tried to cuddle and kiss me as we normally do but I just didn't feel I wanted to...

So my question is should I just end it? Or should I give us more time to find out if my feelings for him will return?

I feel so horrible that I will hurt him if I decide to break it off because I know he loves me so much but I know I can't stay if our feelings are not mutual...

Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

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h78
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Subject: Should I end it?

I've just been through almost exactly the same thing...Met a LOVELY bloke online in Decemeber, he is brilliant, loving, affectionate, funny, generous...

All was going well up until about 3 weeks ago, when I just had this 'blah' feeling, and couldn't shake it. (Everything in rest of life ok, happy at work etc). I didn't feel like affection and kinda had abit of a 'Is this it?' feeling about our relationship.

Realised that I should still be feeling very loved up only three months in and maybe it was his 'good friend' qualities I liked about him that was keeping me around...but we were lacking that spark.

Broke up with him this week and it was really hard but I feel better knowing I'm not leading him on if I'm not feeling 100% about it. I felt my ex deserved someone who was head over heels with him and I just wasn't really feeling it.

Maybe give yourself abit of space to see how you feel?

But I feel better for ending my situation, hoping that we''ll stay friends at least.

Good luck, I know how you feel!

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vc1967
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REPLY QUOTE Posted :
Subject: Should I end it?

Quoted:

I've just been through almost exactly the same thing...Met a LOVELY bloke online in Decemeber, he is brilliant, loving, affectionate, funny, generous... All was going well up until about 3 weeks ago, when I just had this 'blah' feeling, and couldn't shake it. (Everything in rest of life ok, happy at work etc). I didn't feel like affection and kinda had abit of a 'Is this it?' feeling about our relationship. Realised that I should still be feeling very loved up only three months in and maybe it was his 'good friend' qualities I liked about him that was keeping me around...but we were lacking that spark. Broke up with him this week and it was really hard but I feel better knowing I'm not leading him on if I'm not feeling 100% about it. I felt my ex deserved someone who was head over heels with him and I just wasn't really feeling it. Maybe give yourself abit of space to see how you feel? But I feel better for ending my situation, hoping that we''ll stay friends at least. Good luck, I know how you feel!
Posted by h78

Thank you so much for your reply. I think you are right, I have to be honest and tell him. Can you just let me know how did you break it off, what did you say? I am meant to see him on Wednesday and we speak on the phone daily... should I talk to him on the phone about it or leave it until Wednesday and do it in person? There is a part that wants to let him know now how I feel because to talk like nothing is wrong seems like lying... And I just need to do it and see if we can remain friends...

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NatoPMT
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Subject: Should I end it?

youre being cruel to him, i know you need to work your feelings out, but he will know that you are getting irritated, and thats going to damage his esteem.
Dont make him start to react to your cooling off - he might get needy for eg, and thats not good for anyones self image.
hes not an experiment to see what happens with, i dont think you should just dump him, discuss it with him, tell him how you feel, see if you can get to the bottom of it - you can decide together if its working - dont shut him out

<span style="font-size:10px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="color:#000080;" class="Apple-style-span">"I'm not selling you my baby Nato."<

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apple-pies
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Subject: Should I end it?

sometimes spending a holiday - especially with other people - can bring a honeymoon relationship down to ground with a bump..you get to see another, probably less idealistic side of a person. It might be just that you need to readjust how you see this guy.

On the other hand, you may have just seen more, and it doesn't appeal to you...you just gotta do what the others have said - have that chat with him....try and get to the bottom of things....guess just do it gently so you don't hurt his feelings more than you have too! Maybe do the old 'sh*t sandwich' trick - start with a postive, stick the less postive stuff in the middle etc!

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