I split from ex 3 weeks ago. I said I wanted a bit more commitment and he said that he wasn't sure thats what he wanted right now (his split from ex wife was very bitter and has understandable left him with issues) and so I said that we should call it a day. I told him that I couldn't stay in touch as I cared about him too much and so I deleted his details from my phone but since then he seems to be finding stupid excuses to text or email me.
I replied to the first ones saying that I was fine but couldn't do "chit chat" but I deleted his last email without replying. He told a mutual friend that I'd ignored his email but she didn't say any more.
A number of friends, including his mum (don't ask!) think that he will change his mind about "us" once he realises what he's lost (I'm not holding my breath that he will) but I do care for him and so don't want to close the fully on him otherwise I'd tell him to **** off out of my life but I can't bring myself to do it.
Any advice or am I just kidding myself that he might still want me ?!
FORUMS
FORUM RSS
What part of "no contact" does he not understand.....
Author
Message
Deleted User
Rank: Paper Bag
He's maybe still on the rebound from his ex wife and doesn't know what he wants, feelings can be all over the place after a break up (not going there) Perhaps you could decide in your head how long you'd be prepared to wait for him and if after that time period is up and nothing good happens then move on? sorry you're upset and hope something works out for you, love Honeychile in Germany
if you really do want no contact then block his e.mail address and block his number on your mobile. if someone is filled with bitterness about their ex how can they feel positive and move on with someone else?
Thanks ladies
I found out some information about his ex from his mum at the weekend that make some sense about his issues in "committing" again. Not that this helps me because only he can address his issues and that's why I said no contact.
He can't miss me or what we had if I'm still in his life (I don't know if he is aware that I'm in contact with his mum or rather his mum is in contact with me!). I think she is trying to keep the way open for him to get in touch with me if he changes his mind but I've told her that I don't think I'll hear from him again and I also DO NOT tell her how I'm feeling or anything personal. I don't want this information getting back to him.
I don't want to block him because if he does want to talk about us then I want to be able to decide if its something I want to do although I'm very aware that as time goes on its less likely that I will but I feel better thinking that I have a choice.
That probably makes no sense at all. Sorry !!!
I found out some information about his ex from his mum at the weekend that make some sense about his issues in "committing" again. Not that this helps me because only he can address his issues and that's why I said no contact.
He can't miss me or what we had if I'm still in his life (I don't know if he is aware that I'm in contact with his mum or rather his mum is in contact with me!). I think she is trying to keep the way open for him to get in touch with me if he changes his mind but I've told her that I don't think I'll hear from him again and I also DO NOT tell her how I'm feeling or anything personal. I don't want this information getting back to him.
I don't want to block him because if he does want to talk about us then I want to be able to decide if its something I want to do although I'm very aware that as time goes on its less likely that I will but I feel better thinking that I have a choice.
That probably makes no sense at all. Sorry !!!
Deleted User
Rank: Paper Bag
Maybe, if he's the injured party he's frightened of committing himself to anyone at the moment, but it isn't really fair on you of course to have to hang around while he decides what he wants to do. Clearly you like him, or you would have said to hell with this, perhaps as I said let him know that you're prepared to wait for a limited time for him? We all gather baggage as we move through life.
Hi me_at_work, hope you are ok. Your ex has issues that need to be resolved before he gets into a r'shp. You say divorce left him bitter..remember that there are 2 sides to every story and anyone can say their ex was x,y,z so be careful. The fact he finds excuses to contact you is the old 'people want what they can't have'. He obviously doesnt want to lose you but he also cant give you the commitment you want. How long are you willing to play the waiting game?!
<br /><font color="#000000"><strong>I cannot give you the formula for success, <br />but I can give you the formula for failure<br />--which is:</
Sorry if I mislead - he isn't bitter after his divorce but the actual circumstances of the split were rather nasty on both sides. I don't know her so wouldn't dream of assuming either party was right or wrong. But I know that he's been in 2 long term relationships (the first cheated on him not long after having their baby) and obviously things with his ex didn't end well so I can understand his hesitation. I think he thinks he missed out on the carefree days as he was a dad quite young so I guess he needs to get that out of his system.
As for waiting around for him - I'm not. In my head I'm moving on just my heart seems to be taking a bit longer to catch up! I honestly don't think he will change his mind so no point in me kidding myself but at same time when he contacts me my heart drops that maybe he has ?!?
Honeychile - I don't know what your message is? did you report a post that has since been removed?
As for waiting around for him - I'm not. In my head I'm moving on just my heart seems to be taking a bit longer to catch up! I honestly don't think he will change his mind so no point in me kidding myself but at same time when he contacts me my heart drops that maybe he has ?!?
Honeychile - I don't know what your message is? did you report a post that has since been removed?
Crizz2001 . . . what wonderfully constructive advice that is . . . . and if our posts are so depressing then may I make a suggestion . . . . **** off !!!
Deleted User
Rank: Paper Bag
Yes, m.a.t, i did report a post, a charming message from crizz2001, but just seen he's put another little gem on...
He's such a loser . . . actually sits there, reads the posts then makes some pathetic comment which frankly isn't really going to destroy anyone because he's so laughable but as I said on another post, we're people who are going through a tough time at the moment but will pick ourselves up and enjoy life again . . . this is his life !!!
Who's online?
Promotions
MORE FROM HANDBAG
Contact | Privacy | Terms & Conditions | Cookie Policy | Advertising | Site Map | Popular Forum Threads
Copyright © 2012. Hearst Magazines UK is the trading name of the National Magazine Company, registered in England 112955, and its affiliate company, Handbag.com, which is registered in England 03819979. The companies are registered at 72 Broadwick Street, London, W1F 9EP. All rights reserved.