Hi not posted on here for ages but regular visitor.
I went on bfriends pc yesterday to look for a download (we usually use his because its better than mine) and there was a film being downloaded in utorrent that I found disturbing. Now I haven't got a problem with %&*$#, and he's always said it leaves him cold and would rather be having sex than watching it.
I text him about it (he was at work) and he said he knew nothing about it. I searched his history
then and found several entries for %&*$# torrents from isohunt for the evening before, looked at at the time I was watching tv downstairs. There was also two files that had been put into recycle bin.
I asked him again when he came home and he swore he hadn't looked at these and it may be a virus? Anyone know if this is possible? It's the fact that he may be lying that is bothering me.
Any advice or opinions welcome.
Thanks
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Porn on boyfriends pc but says it wasn't him.
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Hi,
I don't think it could be a virus. Viruses can be downloaded by mistake when they are attached to another file. A virus would not make %&*$# download itself into utorrent. And if there are search enteries for %&*$# in the search history, then it would suggest to me that he has been searching and downloading it himself. Viruses also do not delete things to the recycle bin. None of these things suggest in my experience as two years as a computer engineer, that it is a virus downloading the material.
Hope this helps.
I don't think it could be a virus. Viruses can be downloaded by mistake when they are attached to another file. A virus would not make %&*$# download itself into utorrent. And if there are search enteries for %&*$# in the search history, then it would suggest to me that he has been searching and downloading it himself. Viruses also do not delete things to the recycle bin. None of these things suggest in my experience as two years as a computer engineer, that it is a virus downloading the material.
Hope this helps.
In Response to %&*$# on boyfriends pc but says it wasn't him. http://www.handbag.com/social/forums-relationships_relationships_porn-boyfriends-pc-but-says-wasnt-him?plckFindPostKey=Cat:RelationshipsForum:50Discussion:ff62fd16-741c-4a95-ad79-cc5dec72a85dPost:258d7be5-796f-4706-ac2c-ab7e334fd593 :
Hey,
I read your post and just had to respond. I'm sorry to say that the defence of "a virus typed it in" is simply not true. Don't get me wrong it isn't impossible, theoretically speaking, but viruses simply don't work in this way. The way they work is AFTER you type something in (so something innocent like a title of a film, let's say "Monster", the virus would THEN kick in and bring up search results that weren't 'Monster' the film, but were %&*$# images, or gambling ads, or whatever.
In other words, on your webpage the autocomplete cache is kept locally. Viruses have no interest in hijacking that, and would only hijack the data after it entered the browser. Manipulating the keypresses is far too hard, it isn't worth the time or energy of any malicious software because it's so majorly complex. Somebody typed those titles into your browser, and that is a definite.
Good luck x
Hey,
I read your post and just had to respond. I'm sorry to say that the defence of "a virus typed it in" is simply not true. Don't get me wrong it isn't impossible, theoretically speaking, but viruses simply don't work in this way. The way they work is AFTER you type something in (so something innocent like a title of a film, let's say "Monster", the virus would THEN kick in and bring up search results that weren't 'Monster' the film, but were %&*$# images, or gambling ads, or whatever.
In other words, on your webpage the autocomplete cache is kept locally. Viruses have no interest in hijacking that, and would only hijack the data after it entered the browser. Manipulating the keypresses is far too hard, it isn't worth the time or energy of any malicious software because it's so majorly complex. Somebody typed those titles into your browser, and that is a definite.
Good luck x
He's lying.
Viruses don't look for %&*$# torrents and get off on that - and why on earth would viruses then delete themselves and leave themselves in the recycle bin? He's been caught out... and now he's panicing and the only thing he can think of is 'Er.... it's a virus'.
Has he got Anti Virus software on his PC? if not... download AVG for free, run that.. and then when it doesn't pick anything up.... ask him which is more likely... that he's Bulls***ting for England, or that AVG doesn't work?
Looked at when you were downstairs watching TV? wow... what a coincidence... :-S
I'd give him one more chance to come clean and would not believe his Virus story at all.
I work in IT.. and that's my 'professional' (and I'm not professional very often) opinion.
Viruses don't look for %&*$# torrents and get off on that - and why on earth would viruses then delete themselves and leave themselves in the recycle bin? He's been caught out... and now he's panicing and the only thing he can think of is 'Er.... it's a virus'.
Has he got Anti Virus software on his PC? if not... download AVG for free, run that.. and then when it doesn't pick anything up.... ask him which is more likely... that he's Bulls***ting for England, or that AVG doesn't work?
Looked at when you were downstairs watching TV? wow... what a coincidence... :-S
I'd give him one more chance to come clean and would not believe his Virus story at all.
I work in IT.. and that's my 'professional' (and I'm not professional very often) opinion.
I agree with what everyone else has said, I think it is HIGHLY unlikely that it is a virus. I think it's time to confront him now, tell him you know he is lying and that you want the truth, and that he has one chance to tell it.
Quoted:
I agree with what everyone else has said, I think it is HIGHLY unlikely that it is a virus. I think it's time to confront him now, tell him you know he is lying and that you want the truth, and that he has one chance to tell it.
Posted by ***sparkles***
Posted by ***sparkles***
Thanks for the replies, don't know much about computers but thought a virus was unlikley. The pc was scanned and no virus was found. When checking the history I went back further and at the end of January found some similar entries as this week. I asked him about those too and he said he didn't know about them. This morning he said yes those in January were him on pc but that he was looking for a game torrent and some of these dodgy ones came up and he was just looking at the comments people had left but not downloading any of it?
We've been together 19 months and everythings been great and we've always been honest about everything. Its the content that has bothered me.
Just shown him this thread and he's confessed he did type in those torrents but insists he didnt download anything.
I'm gutted by the lying and the fact he was looking for animal %&*$#.
Not sure what to do.
Sorry to hear that he has hidden this from you, but not only that, he has lied now that you found them. I was about to post that there is no way this happened "by accident" I use the same software and it doesn't accidentally download anything!
I guess you need to talk about why he felt the need to lie about it, but its up to you to decide whether its enough to take further action. I hope that your ok...
I guess you need to talk about why he felt the need to lie about it, but its up to you to decide whether its enough to take further action. I hope that your ok...
Thanks missinquisitive.
It's come out of the blue, don't know if i'm more shocked at what he was looking for or the fact that he lied so convincingly!
This is my first long term rellie since being on my own for 12 years and had real problems trusting anyone after my sons dad lied and lied about seeing someone(moved in with her a week after we split up). I know its not the same but its the fact present bf lied.
He said he'd lied because he didn't want to upset me. How that works I don't know.
He's still insisting he didn't download film on utorrent or the ones in recycle bin and that he was just curious about the comments left by people on the torrents. There were about 10+ entries in history so not a case of a quick look I don't think?
It's come out of the blue, don't know if i'm more shocked at what he was looking for or the fact that he lied so convincingly!
This is my first long term rellie since being on my own for 12 years and had real problems trusting anyone after my sons dad lied and lied about seeing someone(moved in with her a week after we split up). I know its not the same but its the fact present bf lied.
He said he'd lied because he didn't want to upset me. How that works I don't know.
He's still insisting he didn't download film on utorrent or the ones in recycle bin and that he was just curious about the comments left by people on the torrents. There were about 10+ entries in history so not a case of a quick look I don't think?
hey there,
Sorry to say, but men do this.
I found %&*$# on my exes pc as well. He also said that someone must have put it on there, even though I knew no one else was ever on his computer.
I think you shouldn't worry about the %&*$#.
Maybe worry about the lyins about it. But maybe he's just embarressed and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
Sorry to say, but men do this.
I found %&*$# on my exes pc as well. He also said that someone must have put it on there, even though I knew no one else was ever on his computer.
I think you shouldn't worry about the %&*$#.
Maybe worry about the lyins about it. But maybe he's just embarressed and doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
The animal %&*$# could just have been morbid curiosity. Why is it that men can't get that lying is the big issue?
He needs to be honest with you now, theres stuff thats put some serious concerns in your head, and its ok to be curious about stuff, but its not ok to lie, and i think the content youre referring to is illegal.
The fact is that people lie about stuff they think they will get into trouble for and this:
He said he'd lied because he didn't want to upset me
doesnt surprise me in the slightest. What concerns me about that is this:
Now I haven't got a problem with %&*$#
So hes lied because its an ingrained behaviour in him, hes learned to lie to stay out of conflict - you need to ask him about this. Explain to him that you arent his mother, that you are his equal and expected to be treated as such. I have strong views about %&*$#, but my views are irrelevant in that case, but part of my dislike of it is the exclusion that it can cause. To have a sexual interest that excludes your partner is not ideal i would say - so by lying, hes created this exclusion which in itself creates a problem. The content of what he downloaded is a different matter and he prob needs to answer some uncomfortable questions. When you ask him about it, tell him you arent judgmental by nature and you want to understand whats going on, that might give you a better chance of him being truthful
The fact is that people lie about stuff they think they will get into trouble for and this:
He said he'd lied because he didn't want to upset me
doesnt surprise me in the slightest. What concerns me about that is this:
Now I haven't got a problem with %&*$#
So hes lied because its an ingrained behaviour in him, hes learned to lie to stay out of conflict - you need to ask him about this. Explain to him that you arent his mother, that you are his equal and expected to be treated as such. I have strong views about %&*$#, but my views are irrelevant in that case, but part of my dislike of it is the exclusion that it can cause. To have a sexual interest that excludes your partner is not ideal i would say - so by lying, hes created this exclusion which in itself creates a problem. The content of what he downloaded is a different matter and he prob needs to answer some uncomfortable questions. When you ask him about it, tell him you arent judgmental by nature and you want to understand whats going on, that might give you a better chance of him being truthful
<span style="font-size:10px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="color:#000080;" class="Apple-style-span">"I'm not selling you my baby Nato."<
Thanks Nato.
Yes I think you're right about the confrontation bit. I don't have a problem with %&*$# between consenting adults but I find %&*$# with animals absolutely disgusting and I thought he would have too! He said he was looking at torrent comments cos he was curious but STILL denys downloading any even though there was one on utorrent and two in recycle bin.
How he expects me to believe that when he initially lied about looking at torrents in the first place I don't know. It's so out of character, he's asked me to forgive him but at the moment he disgusts me.
Yes I think you're right about the confrontation bit. I don't have a problem with %&*$# between consenting adults but I find %&*$# with animals absolutely disgusting and I thought he would have too! He said he was looking at torrent comments cos he was curious but STILL denys downloading any even though there was one on utorrent and two in recycle bin.
How he expects me to believe that when he initially lied about looking at torrents in the first place I don't know. It's so out of character, he's asked me to forgive him but at the moment he disgusts me.
looking for animal %&*$#?
Pack your bags and leave.
I'm one heck of a broad minded gal but that is beyond the pale.
Pack your bags and leave.
I'm one heck of a broad minded gal but that is beyond the pale.
Thing is though, theres a lot of stuff inside peoples heads that is dark and unsavoury
Have you read any of Nancy Fridays Secret Garden? Thats really pretty damned dark - and all it is, is normal womens fantasies. Theres a lot of animal stuff in it, and its really quite disturbing, but the fact is, the author is presenting them as normal spectrum fantasy. I dont know how much of an authority she is on whats acceptable / normal spectrum - but what goes on in peoples heads is weird - and we sanitise everything.
I dont disagree that its very uncomfortable, but you dont yet know (and might never know) what hes thinking. Thats a judgment call you will have to make after the conversation
sorry youre in this position
Have you read any of Nancy Fridays Secret Garden? Thats really pretty damned dark - and all it is, is normal womens fantasies. Theres a lot of animal stuff in it, and its really quite disturbing, but the fact is, the author is presenting them as normal spectrum fantasy. I dont know how much of an authority she is on whats acceptable / normal spectrum - but what goes on in peoples heads is weird - and we sanitise everything.
I dont disagree that its very uncomfortable, but you dont yet know (and might never know) what hes thinking. Thats a judgment call you will have to make after the conversation
sorry youre in this position
<span style="font-size:10px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:14px;" class="Apple-style-span"><span style="color:#000080;" class="Apple-style-span">"I'm not selling you my baby Nato."<
sorry to go off trak a bit, but if you delete the history is it gone completly and forever then? animal %&*$#? dear god...
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