Fed up of Friendships

Over the past couple of months I’ve become really disillusioned with some of my friendships and just feel like hiding from people at the moment.



With friend A, I’m unhappy because (had to bullet-point this cos it was looking like an essay!!)


A set me up with her friend B. Told me (when I asked) that there had never been any relationship / sex between A and B. Constantly contacted B during my relationship with him to tell him he wasn’t treating me right (her view not mine). Tried to convince me to dump B. Tried to encouraged me to date someone else at the same time. After I’d been dumped A told me that one of my friends – C – had told A (6 days after the breakup) how bored C was off listening to me talk about my ex. After I’d been dumped told me that never mind at least I had “gotten further than she did”.


Basically, despite my asking her if there had ever been anything between her and B, A had lied to my face. She told me nothing had ever happened but the apparently the truth is that A and B had “fumbled about” a few times, although it always stopped short of sex because B hadn’t wanted to take it any further.



After learning this I feel like A has lied to me, that she was always sticking her oar in to my relationship (I did try to speak to her about this once but got no where) and I have some trust issues with her now.



I’m a bit fed-up as well because I feel like my friend C is only ever concerned with how all this affects her (I know I sound like a cow, but A is trying to arrange a Xmas night out and when I said to C I wasn’t sure about going and how I feel my friendship with A has suffered recently - all C could talk about was how there was no point then because “the atmosphere would just ruin her night”)



The whole thing is making me feel really… I dunno. I swing from feeling apathetic about them to annoyed about it to thinking I’m over-reacting to feeling apathetic again.

Hi Kel,
Is this the same friend you've posted about before? It sounds like she had a bit of a soft spot for B and that's why she tried to create a big drama and sabotage the whole thing. I'm not surprised she didn't tell you they had a bit of history as that would've made everything very uncomfortable for everyone. She sounds quite high maintenance to me!
The thing is, maintaining friendships can be just as hard work as bloke relationships and you can grow apart in the same way. Everyone assumes they should be easy but it's not often the case.
I can understand C' POV entirely - all the drama must be quite tough and I'd feel exactly the same way.
I think you're due an honest chat with A - take her out for a coffee or something and just talk to her about it. Clear the air and you can all get over it and move on!
x

Yeah, it is the same girl, I'm just not getting over the issue. I just feel like the girl who was supposed to be one of my closest mates, blatently lied to my face. Because I asked about any history between them before I agreed to go on the first date so it wouldn't have caused an issue in a relationship (because there wasn't one).

I have tried to speak to her about it but it didn't go very well because I'm a very non-confrontational person and because she just can't get her head around why I feel that having asked for "full disclosure" she should have told me the truth and let any decisions about going into a relationship with B be my decision. Feel very lied to and manipulated.

I totally understand how you feel Kelly, I'd feel the same. Almost like you've been set up! If she was still interested in B and couldn't keep her nose out of your and B's situation, why did she set you up with him in the first place??