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Sue - you can do, you owe it to yourself to do it, and wish you strength in doing so.
Baby steps at first.... xx
Baby steps at first.... xx
Well done, i think you're brave and I think you're bright. This decision will ensure your self esteem stays in tact in future relationships too. It may well be worth asking for some help from your GP regarding seeing a therapist so that you can talk in depth about your emotional journey and the inevitable stress that comes with making such a massive decision.
I think you're doing the right thing.
Respect is a cornerstone in any relationship. Your husband didn't have much of it for you, or for the women he used.
You deserve respect and you deserve honesty at the very least!
I'll be here for you. x
I think you're doing the right thing.
Respect is a cornerstone in any relationship. Your husband didn't have much of it for you, or for the women he used.
You deserve respect and you deserve honesty at the very least!
I'll be here for you. x
Take my support as a given, and if you need help with anything particular, don't be afraid to ask if it's not forthcoming in the general wave of support.
I said before that I think, for all the other problems, staying in this relationship would make things worse for you not better, that your self esteem and mental health would deteriorate. BUT........please just reassure me of one thing. That you are doing this because you really believe that it is the right thing to do for yourself, and not because a few people on an internet forum suggested on your last thread that if you'd decided to stay, you couldn't expect any more help if you weren't going to help yourself. It IS hard to break away, and sometimes it takes more than one attempt. Whatever happens, support will be here.
BJx
I said before that I think, for all the other problems, staying in this relationship would make things worse for you not better, that your self esteem and mental health would deteriorate. BUT........please just reassure me of one thing. That you are doing this because you really believe that it is the right thing to do for yourself, and not because a few people on an internet forum suggested on your last thread that if you'd decided to stay, you couldn't expect any more help if you weren't going to help yourself. It IS hard to break away, and sometimes it takes more than one attempt. Whatever happens, support will be here.
BJx
There comes a point when you have to stop involving others, stop seeking opinions and make a go of it on your own. Your decisions and your reactions are just that. Yours.
Living ones life as an open book, being so 'public' is a strange way of handling things I think.
Choose your support in other ways, that don't focus on the issues you have - have your support under the guise of joining new clubs and classes, not talking about what's happening in your life but focussing on other things. use your time to conduct yourself in the best way you can and keep your dark moments to your own dark times and of course, post on here - but you need a break from your grimness. I really believe int he saying fake it till you make it. By trying to remove yourself for periods of time from your situation, you will allow yourself to feel other things and move on.
Living ones life as an open book, being so 'public' is a strange way of handling things I think.
Choose your support in other ways, that don't focus on the issues you have - have your support under the guise of joining new clubs and classes, not talking about what's happening in your life but focussing on other things. use your time to conduct yourself in the best way you can and keep your dark moments to your own dark times and of course, post on here - but you need a break from your grimness. I really believe int he saying fake it till you make it. By trying to remove yourself for periods of time from your situation, you will allow yourself to feel other things and move on.
Well dang, I found my original profile and sign in ! Tis me !
I may not always be right.... but I'm never wrong.
I may not always be right.... but I'm never wrong.
You have said that you need to end this relationship. It's hard to leave any relationship even a destructive one. Just look at what happened to Rihanna. Remember to look at your whole life in this relationship. How will your life turn out if you go back. Would you want to bring children into this relationship. I have been in a bad relationship and now I am in Very Good relationship. Human nature leads us to seek out the very same bad relationship we just left. The only way to avoid repeating this same mistake is to seek out someone completely opposite to the person you are with now. This is what worked for me. 
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Quoted:
. , and not because a few people on an internet forum suggested on your last thread that if you'd decided to stay, you couldn't expect any more help if you weren't going to help yourself. Posted by BillieJay
BJ, just one person posted on the last thread that she didn't feel able to give any more advice.
Sue, there is a support network here for you, but the kind of help you need with your bi-polar and feelings of worthlessness is professional, and I am so please that you are fixing to get that.
You sound so bright and self aware to me - please take some strength from that, and now that you are the path to getting over this - it will not be easy, but you CAN get there - please post as much as you need in conjunction with your medical/physciatric help...
We are here to listen when you need to get things out xx
Quoted:
I really believe int he saying fake it till you make it. Posted by Mr.Mannering*wishes she had a sheriff's badge*
I believe in this too - I call it "fronting" ...it works xx
Quoted:
In Response to Re: I have decided to break free - I'm going to need your support in this! : BJ, just one person posted on the last thread that she didn't feel able to give any more advice. Posted by satsumakitten
I admit I wrote that without going back and checking. In my defence, what I remembered was that after Sue's 'I can't do it' post, there was a dismissive post, yours, and a response from Sue and then...zilch. Your reply of .......
I'm not surprised at this, and agree that there is something wrong with you.
I seriously think you need some professional help here - I hope you seek it.
........in the context of the previous reply, could I think, to someone going through enormous stress, also have been taken as 'us amateurs can't help you anymore' (I'm not saying you meant it that way, only that it could be taken that way). And then there were no supportive replies - for which I'm as guilty as anyone - before the thread ended. So the total responses to I couldn't do it were one of then do it on your own, and one that could have meant the same thing, and nothing more. I just wanted to be sure that Sue wasn't doing it because, in a vulnerable state, she felt that she HAD to go through with it because otherwise she was letting us down.
I'm sorry if it didn't come out right first time - friends?
BJx
Of course friends BJ 
Sue's posts just really really really worry me - the bi polar, the masochism, the mental health of her ex, and the sexual violence...I've not seen anything this serious posted before - I was wanting to say that I thought she needed professionals available to help her, but I can see that I perhaps came across as unsupportive. I don't feel like I can advise her as this is so far out of the realms of my expereinces...I wouldn't want to say anything to make matters worse.
Advice is different from support though and I see your point totally looking back over the end of the last thread.
Sorry for talking about you as if you're not here Sue... How are things today? Please let us know xx
Sue's posts just really really really worry me - the bi polar, the masochism, the mental health of her ex, and the sexual violence...I've not seen anything this serious posted before - I was wanting to say that I thought she needed professionals available to help her, but I can see that I perhaps came across as unsupportive. I don't feel like I can advise her as this is so far out of the realms of my expereinces...I wouldn't want to say anything to make matters worse.
Advice is different from support though and I see your point totally looking back over the end of the last thread.
Sorry for talking about you as if you're not here Sue... How are things today? Please let us know xx
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