Where has my mojo gone?

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Subject: Where has my mojo gone?

Hello everyone,

Apologises for the length of this post, here's a bit of background so hopefully you might understand my problem.

I'm 28, my girlfriend is 32 and we've been together for 2 years, we're both similar in many ways and I feel very lucky to have met someone who does as much for me as I do for her. We have our moments like most people, we have the occasional row but we always come to a compromise and discuss every aspect of our relationship. We've been in a LDR since we first met and have coped with it very well, I only see her at weekends (I'm in the Armed Forces based in the South whilst she lives in the North). I've recently returned from a three month tour and we slotted straight back into each other's lives as if I'd never been away.

We've never been at it like rabbits, we've always had sex when we feel like it, be it a few times a weekend or a couple of times a month. I've never been very good at reading her subtle hints and more often than not, I'd pick the wrong times to try to get her in the mood i.e. after a hard week at work, when we're under a time constraint etc although I am getting slightly better!

Before I went away, she asked me to take the initiative more regularly so I made a conscious effort when we went on holiday after my tour. This was great at the beginning, we had some of the best sex we've had in a long time, she did things I never thought she would and we both loved it. This tailed away towards the end of the holiday and when we returned, we went straight back into the routine of our LDR again. Since then, we've been going out socially most weekends and generally catching up with our friends.

My problem is that I'm feeling like I'm in a rut sexually and worry that everything I'm doing is predictable, routine and dull. Having spoken to my OH about it, she tells me that everything is fine from her point of view, I'm hitting all the right spots for her and she's got no problem at all - it seems that this crisis of confidence is all in my head. Her IBS puts pressure on her cervix and makes her uncomfortable so she's usually on top. I'm still very much fancy her and am very much turned on by her, but the routine of our sex means I'm not feeling particularly enthused when we do get into the swing of it. The fact that the only times we've tried lately is on a weekend when we're both feeling a bit anxious after the previous nights drinking probably doesn't help either.

I'm hoping this might just be a blip, a slight decline of libido on my part which will pick up again on its own soon. My girlfriend feels that for her, everything is perfect sexually and in every other area too. She often gives the "why fix what isn't broken" reply, so I really don't know how to deal with this. We're both otherwise very happy and I know its only me who puts pressure on myself for no real reason.

If anyone can make sense of this and give me some words of wisdom to get my mojo back, it would be much appreciated. Sometimes I'm just my own worst enemy!

Thanks for reading!
S.

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satsumakitten
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Subject: Where has my mojo gone?

It is broken though. Not for your GF but for you.

Sounds to me like it may be the routine of the positions you have to use to accomodate your GF's IBS that is becoming boring for you.

Does she have symptoms all of the time? If not then maybe you could revert to an old fashioned man on top position so tht you can feel a littel more in control of things again?

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missinquisitive
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Subject: Where has my mojo gone?

I can only reiterate what Satsumakitten has already posted. It is broken and your gf needs to see this. Maybe she is just scared to address it?
Its good that you want to do something about it. The symtoms shouldnt be there all the time (Iv suffered IBS for years) so my partner and I do vary positions to keep it interesting. You both need to feel excited by the sex. Is its causing so much discomfort, could it be anything more serious indicating a return visit to a GP?
Otherwise perhaps try other positions where you wont (sorry to be so graphic) but you wont be so deep as to actually hurt her.

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THEREALDEALuk
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Subject: Where has my mojo gone?

Hmmm i've suffered IBS for years and it isnt there all of the time.. you usually find out your triggers at some point and there are medication you can take to help control symptoms so I can't understand why she's using that as an excuse to stick to the same positions. I've never heard of it putting pressure on the cervix.

Also what struck me from your post.. are you the one that always trys to initiate things? Does your girlfriend ever take the lead and tell you she wants some without waiting for you to do it?

[http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c136/samemms/3231278360_2c014cd713.jpg]

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Ragingwitch
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Subject: Where has my mojo gone?

I have something similar to IBS and will feel pain in one position one day and be alright the same way the next time. You just have to try things out, or you'll never know.

Like some of the others, I also noticed that you say you do all the initiating and your lass actually asked you to do that more; I'm of a mind that it should perhaps be much more equal, especially if you feel like you've got it wrong on occasion, so the effort doesn't always have to be yours (possibly effort is a bad word there but hopefully you'll get it).

On another note, you do get 'great boyfriend' brownie points, since you're actually bothered about this and have come for a chat on here, and I'm sure your girly would appreciate that.

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