Accidental 'slipping' injuries - why do they hurt SO much?

A few years ago with my previous partner, we 'slipped' whilst having sex and because I wasn't prepared or expecting anal penetration, I was hit by shock and unbearable agony. I felt like I'd been winded and couldn't breathe in or out. I got over the shock after a minute or so and hoped that would never happen again.

Today, my partner of 9 months and I were in the shower and he wanted anal sex (consentually, of course) as we've tried it recently in the shower and both enjoyed it. The bubbles act as lube and make things easy but it was TOO easy and he went in way too deep, way too fast purely by accident and the pain was unbearable. I yelled out in shock and was mid-collapse when he caught me and had to hold me up for about a minute. Eventually I turned round and tried to crawl out of the shower but I didn't want him to feel any worse than he already did because he absolutely did not mean to hurt me and I don't blame him at all. I turned round and cuddled him and we were fine after that but I'm wondering WHY it hurts SO much as to be almost collapsing and holding your breath like you've been winded... or is it just me?

Another one of the reasons I hate anal

Btw are shower bubbles safe to use as lube?!






h xx

Anal in the shower? Damn! That's hardcore sweetie.

Ok my view on guys thrusting - men are genetically programmed to thrust and impregnate. I have a guy friend that cured a girl of her fear of oral by offering to be tied up. As soon as she knew he couldn't choke her, she relaxed and enjoyed herself. They can't help it really, no matter how nice the guy, the urge is to well...

Oral is easy enough to deal with in that you can rest your forearms on his thighs and vaginal is mostly fine because... well... it kinda fits there but anal is tricky.

I did anal with my ex and pretty much hated it because it hurt. But the few times I've done it with my boyfriend it hasn't.

To use BDSM talk, there is such a thing as headspace. Within a BDSM relationship I understand it to mean a point at which you reach a trippy response to something you might not like under "normal" circumstances. I personally doubt this is limited to those of us that are kinky and rather relates to a point of relaxation and trust.

What makes you relax and trust? For me it's lots of orgasms followed by some "disciplining" after a couple of glasses of wine. In other words, I'm totally chilled and willing to do whatever he wants. I sure as hell couldn't 'just do it'!

For me, anal comes with heady loved-upness. A very slow and gentle end to prolonged sex and NOT something to be rushed. And even then not a guarantee. Done right it is insanely intimate but my understanding (after talking to quite a few girls) is that you need to figure out what puts you in a receptive mindset, what makes you eager to take that next step. It might be the romantic (bath, wine, massage), the passionate (a quickie, being thrown down on the bed) or any myriad of things.

Done right with my boyfriend it doesn't hurt but that's because it's not even on the cards unless he's put me in the relaxed headspace I need.

Kudos for trying in the shower but yikes! (And I think I'm pretty open-minded)

ETA: Missionary is far comfier than doggy (disregard EVERYTHING from %&*$#)

Sorry but what's that got to do with my original post?

Sorry for the delay in replying - usually I get an email to say somebody has replied to a thread but I didn't and so I totally forgot I posted this (how could I?!)

Anal is fine if you go really slowly to begin with until the body adjusts and gets over the shock. Normally once he;s in just a bit, you need to stop there for a few seconds until you can carry on. It's all trial and error but if you trust your partner completely and if he listenes to you when you tell him to slow down/stop etc then there shouldn't be any major problems and barely any pain. The pain you DO get should be 'good pain' IMO.


As for bubbles acting as lube, to be honest I wondered that. Vaginally no definitely not but I don't suppose a few anally would do an awful lot of damage.

ETA: When I said 'The bubbles act as lube and make things easy but it was TOO easy and he went in way too deep, way too fast purely by accident and the pain was unbearable' I meant from the outset of original penetration. You have to go SOOOO slowly at first but it kinda slid straight in of its own accord before we'd had chance to do the whole 'entering slowly' thing

I think she means when having anal sex, its less painful in the missionary position (they can't get as deep) as to a doggy style position. I believe you should start off with a spooning position, but never see how that works. I would suggest doing so you are on top and can then control the proceedings.

Just to mention, when doing anal you should always use a good lube, you can do far MORE damage to your arse then vag. Your vag is made to take these rough beatings, but your arse isnt made for things to go up it. Its also suggested to always use a condom, not best feeling for him, but certainty cleaner and safer.

And yes it will hurt if you aren't prepared as your muscles contract rather than relax. The key is to take it slow and build up to his dick. Try some anal plug things, or beads, or a small dildo, once you get use to these then your anus becomes more relaxed about things going up rather than down and its all a lot easier.

I think my entire OP has been misread or misunderstood.

Was the meaning of your original OP "why does something that hurts hurt"? Because if so, it's pretty self-evident, no?

To give a prudish answer the reason why the slipping hurt so much was because it is not designed to have a willy go up there imo, but every thing is quite soft and delicate down there front and back and is full of nerve endings ,so being poked by a hard pokey thing is going to hurt if you are not prepared for it, it's the same as stubbing your toe.

"How come stubbing your toe hurts, but having your toe lovingly sucked by Johnny Depp does not hurt?"

lol at zoomer

Ah, Sleepybear - common sense has spoken, thank you! I'm aware that certain parts of the body aren't supposed to be rammed into other parts of the body but I'm wondering whether it's got something to do with the sphincter muscle and a shock mechanism. I knew what I wanted to ask in my head and can't put it into words now. I'll accept the answer 'because it does', shut up, and move on.

See, I didn't find it painful - although maybe that's cos I've only done it with my ex and he was a bit of a pin-dick, but we did the whole going slowly, loads of lube etc.

It just feels like, well, having an enormous poo that's going the wrong way


Horrible!






h xx

In answer to your question- cause the sphincter muscles are clamped shut unless you're doing a number 2. If they weren't you'd be incontinent. Forcing them open is bound to hurt, no?

[quote] he was a bit of a pin-dick[./QUOTE]

I just hurt myself laughing.

And yes, my post was an effort to suggest ways of it not slipping and hurting which I clearly misread as the topic in hand.