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Subject: Personal Issue

I havent had an orgasm in 3 weeks :S
I dont know if for some people this is normal I just feel very weird about it. I used to always want to do things and now I dont :S
I don't know if I've got to a point of just giving up on it..
Not sure what I'm asking for just needed to get it out of me

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chocolatejouk
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Subject: Personal Issue

Its only been 3 weeks!!

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THEREALDEALuk
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Have you tried to have one?

[http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c136/samemms/3231278360_2c014cd713.jpg]

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satsumakitten
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Subject: Personal Issue

hi pinkie hon.

Is then when you are with MrPink, or *ahem* alone...??

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thepinkshoe
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Choc Jo-3 weeks is the longest its ever been for me so feels weird. Used to do it every day, sometimes more than once a day :S

I have tried and it didn't work and Mr Pink has tried too-have almost got there but just missing it.
It just gets to me so when I can't it makes me not want to try again :S I seem to have really gone off it which makes me feel horrible. It makes me feel really down not being able to come during sex-even though I know lots of females cant. So it kinda feels linked to my depression cos it really gets to me.

I've stopped using my vibrator cos I don't want to be dependant on it-which I felt I was getting-and it's also from my ex so it sometimes links to that.

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Strawberryuk1
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Are you on any antidepressant medication? these play havoc with ability to orgasm.
I'd say bugger being worried about being dependent on your vibrator, if it works, use it, maybe get a new one? it might kick start things for you again!!

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thepinkshoe
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Strawberry, yeah I'm on antidepressants-that sucks about it affecting it!

and im possibly going to have to up my dosage soon so that's going to be even worse.

Hmm maybe I'll try sometime on the weekend with the vibe..I can't afford a new one atm

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chocolatejouk
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Subject: Personal Issue

I'd say stop trying. The pressure of needing to orgasm can make it stressful, and stress won't allow that to happen. Just leave it for a while. Don't try.

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Strawberryuk1
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Good point chocolatejo but just curious, how long have you been on anti depressant medication and were you previously able to orgasm while you were on medication and now your not able to? Do you absolutely HAVE to increase your dosage? because speaking from my own personal experience I think having this medication affect your sex life and ability to orgasm is depressing in it's own right.

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thepinkshoe
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Umm I've been on them for a few months and I guess it has been affected around the same time-just didnt really notice it at the start cos of other things going on.
I'm thinking a visit to the doctor next week some time should be done-unsure if I'll be confident enough to bring up the sex stuff :S
hmm maybe ill leave it for a bit and try suss out the medication first..hmm just annoying :S

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Strawberryuk1
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Do tackle it with your doctor, otherwise they will never know the impact of these medications on people's sex lives if we're all too embarrased to mention it. This is an issue very close to my own heart and I have a blog relating to it http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/

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Lilyuk2
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Blimey! 3 weeks really isn't a long time without an orgasm (every day? How do you find the time??) and I'd wager that your depression has more to do with it than your tablets necessarily. It would definitely be worth talking to your doctor after a few months if you're still struggling sexually but it's only been a few weeks and you need to adjust to your medication.

Depression is far, far worse than not having an orgasm for a bit - please don't be put off increasing your dose if your doctor thinks this is important (and if you are having additional support not just medication) just because you haven't had an orgasm for a couple of days - that's skewing your priorities.

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thepinkshoe
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Thanks for the replies everyone

A few months ago I used to be very sexually turned on all day every day so it is a bit of a change.
Lily I find time cos I dont work full time lol :P and it use to be a nice thing to do if I was relaxed.
I tried something a few days ago and it worked

I just felt a heap of relief.

I get upset if I don't orgasm when I try, so yest morning when I tried with Mr Pinkshoe I was trying for ages and then just gave up. He could tell I was upset so he told me how much I mean to him and kept saying little things to make me smile which meant a lot to me. In the past when I havent been able to with guys they havent cared at all even when I was upset so it's nice to know that he wants me to feel good and is able to make me smile pretty easily

I still havent been to the doctors (naughty me I know!). I just am getting nervous about it for some reason. I don't know exactly what to say to them when I go in..maybe I will try go Friday-it's the earliest I have free atm.

I do know that depression is worse than not having an orgasm but it upsets me cos I don't want that aswell as the depression stuff. It would just be nice if that was something that was working a bit better..

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Strawberryuk1
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It is actually a horrible catch 22 situation to be in, and the antidepressants can put you between a rock and a hard place (a lot of cliches there sorry), yes it's important depression is addressed and treated, but losing your ability to orgasm is also very distressing and depressing in itself. It maybe worth asking your doctor about other avenues for treating your depression like councelling, CBT, alternative therapies rather that the drug route, just a thought.

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Lilyuk2
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Stop putting pressure on both of you. If all you think about all the time is having an orgasm it isn't going to happen. Just try to forget about it and think about other stuff! Getting upset about it will only upset him as well as you - just enjoy sex for what it is. I'm sure you can find alternative ways to relax if you need to! It's not the norm to be sexually turned on all day every day - I'm not saying it's weird, just that most people aren't - so perhaps you had a higher-than-average-sex-drive and now you just have a bogstandard one! I dunno, only your doc can answer that, but welcome to average life!

Don't be ashamed of talking to your doctor; they hear this kind of thing all the time. But I think you need to find something else to think about; if you don't work full-time how about doing some voluntary work?

ETA: Having re-read this this morning it is a bit bitty and blunt, and I don't mean it to be - but basically if you concentrate on sex/orgasms all the time, it's not going to happen (I know this from experience!) and moreover your anxiety and worry will be heightened! Hence I suggest taking the focus off orgasm and sex and doing something else with your day if you don't work full-time.

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