i'm new to all of this, but i've hit a brick wall so am desperate for some impartial advice.
i've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. we love each other and want this to work for the long term but for the last few months (3 to be precise) our sex life has been practically non existent. the usual excuses are always there- too tired, working too hard, too pissed after we've been out blah, blah, blah- but its starting to take a toll on our relationship and we havent been getting on as well as we used to. i'm pretty sure he isnt seeing anybody else and i know i'm not.
i'm a busy lawyer and work stupid hours, so i know i am as much to blame, if not more, as he is but i cant seem to get myself out of this rut. i have started to feel really unattractive because of the lack of intimacy and that just makes things worse as i dont have the self confidence now to initiate anything. my libido has hit rock bottom!
has anybody got any suggestions as to how i might start to feel sexy again and get that spark between us back again?
thanks!
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sex life taking a nose dive...
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You need to get yourself out of this routine, and the only way to do that is to get into the swing of things again. Make sure you put some time aside for your relationship, sit down have a nice dinner together, make each other feel special. I tend to find even if I don't want it straight away, I start to enjoy myself once we get going. I also find the more someone keeps putting it off, the more they don't want it. Hope everything works itself out 
i'm sure youre right. i was thinking about taking him away for a romantic weekend where we can get away from it all and just escape the normal routine. or is that too predictable? i'd like to put some sparkle back into things and really surprise him like i know i used to do, but it sounds like such a cliche! but if youve got any suggestions about how i can design a weekend to make me feel sexy again and also turn my boy wild again, then i'd love to hear them...
Quoted:
You need to get yourself out of this routine, and the only way to do that is to get into the swing of things again. Make sure you put some time aside for your relationship, sit down have a nice dinner together, make each other feel special. I tend to find even if I don't want it straight away, I start to enjoy myself once we get going. I also find the more someone keeps putting it off, the more they don't want it. Hope everything works itself out
Posted by mickeymouse_9
Posted by mickeymouse_9
Hiya,
from a guys perspective I also think it's a good idea to get away and take a break from your routine life. You think the idea is a cliche, but its only a cliche because it's a popular idea, and if it didn't work then people wouldn't keep doing it!
Hopefully if you're planning this then he'll reciprocate and you'll find that missing spark. You obviously still care enough for him if you're prepared to make the effort to regain the passion, which is great. It's not like you're doing this to save a relationship, but just to give it a wee jump start.
Hope it goes well for you.
from a guys perspective I also think it's a good idea to get away and take a break from your routine life. You think the idea is a cliche, but its only a cliche because it's a popular idea, and if it didn't work then people wouldn't keep doing it!
Hopefully if you're planning this then he'll reciprocate and you'll find that missing spark. You obviously still care enough for him if you're prepared to make the effort to regain the passion, which is great. It's not like you're doing this to save a relationship, but just to give it a wee jump start.
Hope it goes well for you.
I've experienced the same but from my side. I'm so stressed at work lately, I hate it there. And I'm skint as well which is always worrying me. So my mind is always elsewhere.
I told my fiance at the weekend who thought he wasnt doing it for me but he is, I just can't be bothered.
Anyway... last night I got home and he'd laid loads of candles out, got me some wine, made us a nice meal, gave me a massage and then we had amazing sex. We're going away for a bit of a dirty weekend in Feb which is ages off but I can't wait. He's in a band as well which means weekends are hard to have sex as he's always out.
That was just my experience from the past few weeks, I dont know how it'll carry on. I hope it was just a blip. Good luck x
I told my fiance at the weekend who thought he wasnt doing it for me but he is, I just can't be bothered.
Anyway... last night I got home and he'd laid loads of candles out, got me some wine, made us a nice meal, gave me a massage and then we had amazing sex. We're going away for a bit of a dirty weekend in Feb which is ages off but I can't wait. He's in a band as well which means weekends are hard to have sex as he's always out.
That was just my experience from the past few weeks, I dont know how it'll carry on. I hope it was just a blip. Good luck x
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