When should I sleep with him??

Hi all,

I recently met the man of my dreams, he is everything I was looking for and more. We have been on 6 dates in 3 weeks, and so far I have not slept with him - not wanting to rush into anything. Its starting to get very difficult to resist, how long do you think I should wait for?

It probably seems like a strange thread, but I have jumped in to all my past relationships, and I just want to do this one right!

Thanks xx

Okay okay, I get the general impression that its up to me

I was reading knees' post about meeting a boy and a similar thing has happened here... I guess three weeks on and we still like each other - theres no point in waiting any longer is there? xx

Jump his bones !!!!!!!!

Do what feels right and don't make it too personal and important.
If sleeping with him IS personal and important to you, then you need to tell him you feel like that about it.
Otherwise, its two people, enjoying each others company and having fun, physically.

It's entirely up to you! I wouldn't sleep with someone so soon, but if you want to, then go for it.

I do find the longer the build-up to sex, the more fun the Mucking Around beforehand. Plus the more you know someone the more comfortable so sex isn't so nervewracking. I would say though that 3 weeks is rather too short to believe he's the "man of your dreams" and the fact you "still" like each other after 6 dates is, er, quite normal! Don't rush in too soon, the first 3 months are known as the "honeymoon period" when everything seems great. Sleep with him too soon and you may not see him for dust - I know people will say that's not true but time and time again it is proved! but I'd wait longer to see if he likes you for you personally or just wants to get you in the sack. IMO 3 weeks isn't long enough to know any of these things.

O/T What's the matter with the edit facility, for heavens sake?

I don't believe you can quote a Judy Blume novel Personally I slept with my boyfriend before we even had our first "date" - but then we'd known each other for about three years, and there was a long build up of "does s/he like me" - once we realised it was mutual there was literally no stopping us! Every situation is different. The thought that he might go off me because we slept together before we were properly "dating" did cross my mind. But the next day, when he texted to see if I wanted to go over, and when I said no I couldn't, he said "no probs, do you just want to meet for a coffee or something after work" was when, I think, I fell in love! We had an amazing start to our relationship by falling into bed together, and the romantic dates and hand-holding/star gazing/dreamy eyed moments flowed from that moment on - as did the sex Our situation, however was a bit different, and I can't say for sure whether it would have been like that had we not known each other for so long beforehand. I do think that the build up is part of the fun and anticipation when you are dating...however - the sex is also very fun!

Sakura I don't think anyone can tell you that, it's up to you when it feels right.
x

I have honestly never, ever met men like that. The ones who "pump and run" are the only ones I've met. By the time you've started seeing someone for a couple of months then you're in a relationship and it's very different to meeting someone, shagging them and then leaving. I really don't get this whole sinister "waiting patiently" bloke - why would a man wait patiently and spend money wining and dining someone just for sex when he can get it very easily from someone else? Some men are actually quite nice and normal and will wine and dine someone because they find them attractive and enjoy their company.

And I quote Judy Blume because she is right - once you have sex, you can't go back to holding hands. You have to have sex all the bloody time. So why not just make the most of the foreplay and the mucking around before you go all the way?

Damn, that's what my flatmate said! Hehe.

Long as there is no 'rule' that I don't know about...

You sleep with him when you feel ready,it's that simple. Knowing that you will cope just fine if he turns out to be a bad one. It's your personal, mature, sexual decision, not a calculated risk thing.

This! I said to the last guy I slept with "I guess we're going to have to have sex every time we see each other now" when it was actually much more fun doing date-things or snogging. Judy Blume writes in Forever "once you sleep with someone you can't go back to holding hands" and she was right. Take your time, there's no rush.

I think it depends on if you feel ready or not.

Personally I've waited as long as 3 months, done the 3 date rule thing and jumped someone on the first date. And it felt right each time.

Must say though I do enjoy prolonging the suspense!!

Hi, I am going through a similar worry myself, I have always slept with men on either the first or second date before with varying results - 2 of the ones I slept with on the first or second ended as long term committed relationships, one was a 9-month relationship but the other 7 were all one night stands. (Yes, just admitted my "number" there!) Since my marriage ended, there have been several men who have used me for sex and I just want to avoid that now as it makes me feel so awful. I am now dating a nice guy who just seems different, so I am trying to hold off from jumping into bed with him. We have been seeing each other for a month and have our fourth date this week. We have not slept together yet though we had a sexy fumble on the sofa last time (clothes on!). I want to have more dates to be sure that he won't just dump me once he's got me into bed. He is a real gentleman and has taken me out on some lovely dates, I know he really fancies me and wants to sleep with me but I do feel that he likes me as a person too. He has respected my wishes when I have said I don't want to sleep with him yet, so it seems positive. I really want to sleep with him but I hope I can last out for a few more dates because I think there's less chance of him doing the "hump me dump me" thing!
I know there's no guarantee though. I am worried he will turn out to be the sort of %&*$# who waits patiently, happily wining and dining me until he gets what he wants, then do a disappearing act. I have never encountered anyone like that before but I know it is a risk as some men do that I believe. All the guys who used me either made it plain that they only wanted sex, or they just dumped me straight after our first date sex. I could say that's my fault for sleeping with them straight away but that is one of the reasons I want to try it the other way this time as I really like this guy.
I suppose if he does do the hump me dump me routine then he is not worth being with anyway; I want to see if I can find out before sleeping with him though!

Dont follow all thee dating rules etc... its all gameplay that tends to not work and misleads people. Do what feels right. If your comfortable to go further then thats your choice. No one can tell you when you will feel that way.

Agree Kelly ....the anticipation is delicious! Need a pair of MRM's the tin knickers though..