Sorry - it's a long waffly one. Don't feel you have to read it! It just helps to get it out there!!
Last summer I started worrying about the way my husband acts around girls he works with. I found text messages on his phone, which while harmless, it just seemed a bit odd to have regular text conversations with "some girl - I wouldn't call her a friend".. and then there was another woman who he was emailing regularly - again, completely innocent messages, but they were frequent and not work-related. And again, he "wouldn't call her a friend".
I know in my heart of hearts there wouldn't be anything going on because apart from anything else, these females are in offices on the other side of the country, but I tried to explain to him that I felt uncomfortable with how he may portray himself to other females, and I think he took it on board.
I recognised in myself that I was reacting to the unknown so I tried to make a joke out of it and asked him about his "girlfriends" in a jokey way (which he didn't appreciate, but I explained it just how I was trying to deal with it and make talking about females less of a reason to be the green eyed monster!) and tried to relax more when he occasionally talked about girls in the office.
But it must have manifested itself because I continued to get paranoid and invent scenarios in my head about girls in the office. It got to a point where I wasn't accusing him of having an affair, but I might as well have been. I started to worry that I was going a bit crazy and I told him this. He told me not to be silly.
We had a horrible couple of months. I was breaking down over stupid things like whether the Christmas party was going to be any good, and if it wasn't it was all going to be my fault... I was crying if people asked how I was, and I shrunk away from my friends a bit. He started going out more, has started drinking heavily (40 units a week - rarely less than 10 units a session), and there was a long period without any affection.
We talked about it a little bit, and for a while I thought we were honestly going to split up. I'd worked it all through in my head. I even suggested to him that if he wasn't happy he should leave. I did go to see a Doctor because I was worried about my mental health and he suggested counselling groups, but after seeing the Dr. I suddnely seemed to 'click' and be ok and all I wanted was for our relatoinship to be back to what it was.
And then suddenly, everything is back to normal. There is affection, husband is happy again... he's still drinking too much, but that's another matter.
But the other day though, I saw he had a message from one of the women at work again. He doesn't even work at the same place any more. And all the feelings have come back. Even though I know nothing can be going on, I am just really worked up by it and feel like he is keeping secrets from me.
During our bad patch he told me that he was insulted that I would suggest I was going loopy because his brother has recently been diagnosed with bi-polar and what I was going through was nothing compared to what his brother had been going through. So I have no support from him at all in my mental health concerns.
I don't know what the right thing to do is though since it all seemed to be fixed in my head for a while, and then the relationships was fixed too... but it's started to go a bit wrong in my head again.. I don't know what to do and I wondered what others think or how others have learnt what to do in fairly normal, but head-screwy situations!!! I'm quite confused.... how do you know that some paranoid jealous feelings are more than just unimportant feelings?
Sorry - big waffle, but I wondered if there were any pearls of wisdom out there
x x x x x x x
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How to recognise anxiety/depression
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Try posting this in relationships too if i were you. xx
it can be easily recognized if you are not happy....i would recommend one thing try to be happy and dont feel depressed because by this you can ruin you life
Some telltale signs of depression especially on troubled teens include the following:
* Frequent crying over small things, or for no noticeable reason.
* Expressing little hope in present or future situation.
* Lack of attention to personal hygiene.
* Showing interest in disturbing or dark music, books, and poetry.
* Becoming easily hurt by criticism.
* More easily aggravated and annoyed. Expressing anger or rage.
* Sleeping a lot. Being fatigued without observable illness.
* Pretending to be sick (hypochondria).
* Sudden drop in school performance. Causing problems at school.
* Losing interest in activities. Quitting teams, clubs, etc.
* Frequent crying over small things, or for no noticeable reason.
* Expressing little hope in present or future situation.
* Lack of attention to personal hygiene.
* Showing interest in disturbing or dark music, books, and poetry.
* Becoming easily hurt by criticism.
* More easily aggravated and annoyed. Expressing anger or rage.
* Sleeping a lot. Being fatigued without observable illness.
* Pretending to be sick (hypochondria).
* Sudden drop in school performance. Causing problems at school.
* Losing interest in activities. Quitting teams, clubs, etc.
Call a doctor if you notice…
1. New or more thoughts of suicide
2. Trying to commit suicide
3. New or worse depression
4. New or worse anxiety
5. Feeling very agitated or restless
6. Panic attacks
7. Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
8. New or worse irritability
9. Acting aggressive, being angry, or violent
10.Acting on dangerous impulses
11.Being extremely hyperactive in actions and talking (hypomania or mania)
12.Other unusual changes in behavior
There are different methods for intervention for depression but usually it all happens in the early teens. Most severe cases require medication but for earlier periods teen boot camps is more favorable than juvenile rehabilitation centers.
1. New or more thoughts of suicide
2. Trying to commit suicide
3. New or worse depression
4. New or worse anxiety
5. Feeling very agitated or restless
6. Panic attacks
7. Difficulty sleeping (insomnia)
8. New or worse irritability
9. Acting aggressive, being angry, or violent
10.Acting on dangerous impulses
11.Being extremely hyperactive in actions and talking (hypomania or mania)
12.Other unusual changes in behavior
There are different methods for intervention for depression but usually it all happens in the early teens. Most severe cases require medication but for earlier periods teen boot camps is more favorable than juvenile rehabilitation centers.
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