Absolutely bricking it

I know I;ve been excited for the last 36 weeks about this baby and we wanted one for ages but now it's nearly here I'm utterly, utterly terrified. It's not labour realy, just the thought that there will eb a baby, a tiny baby dependent on us for everything, and I'm sh!tting myself.

We just had to move from our little detached house to a maisonette which is much noisier obviously, especially in this heat with everyone's windows open, so I'm annoyed when neighbours disturb me and scared of disturbing them when the baby comes... I have issues with noise being a control freak and having had 3 sets of noisy neighbours in a row (first was a wife-beating drug dealer, then a very loud Nigerian woman and her 2 kids with surround sound speakers right by our floor, then a huuuge Polish family who had parties most nights of the week until all hours) Now as soon as I hear a tiny bit of noise I freeze and my blood runs cold and I'm trying so hard to accept it as part of normal London living and doing pretty well but part of me is still nervous and scared by it. I know in this place we're lucky to just have the deaf guy upstairs with loud TV which doesn't go on until the small hours with pounding drum'n' bass or anything but still...

We're not unpacked yet and there are boxes everywhere and it doesn't feel like home yet - and I'm bringing a child into this house that isn't yet a home and I will be spending all my time there for the next 6-7 months and I have no friends yet from antenatal classes or anything and I'll be bored and lonely but then I don't want to even think about going back to work (which I'll have to do after Christmas) and leaving my baby at home... We're having money worries as husband's last contract wasn't renewed so we're broke and paying more rent than before, and it's all getting a bit too much for me... I've lost my appetite lately (heat and stress I think) and feel guilty for starving the cub but food can literally make me gag sometimes.

And breathe... Sorry guys, I don't want to scare the husband with all this as it'll make things more tense at home if he's worrying about me too!

Am I the only one utterly utterly terrified? I don't feel very connected to the cub right now as I feel I have too much to do before it comes (sorting my classroom, marking books, parents evenings, etc etc) and I miss that bond I was feeling. I feel like I'll be a crap mum.

Aww sweetie

Try to take some 'time out' to relax - have a bath, stroke your tummy, read a book, put some candles on. Work through unpacking steadily and together and make it home... it'll take time but you'll get there lovely. xx

Foxy i am scared, very scared. Living in a house at the moment in complete chaos as its in the middle of being done up and I'm having to keep eye out and save for properties as i'll have to move from here soon, its a a nightmare! Jus to think as well, not long from now, I'll be loooking after bubs to! Your deffo not alone foxy, i am terrified x

Deep breath.

I really feel for you, it is scarey enough anyway let alone in a new house and everything else.

But you will meet people in the area - all those breast feeding drop in centres, mums and baby clubs etc and it will probably be easier to meet people at these more relaxed places where you all have babies for conversation openers than at antenatel classes.

Christmas is a long way off, stop worring about six months time and enjoy now. These are the last few weeks of pregnancy and so please enjoy having your bump with you all the time before baby arrives. Please try not to worry about things which may or may not happen - not believing your eating enough, money worries, house worries...

Although I am with you on the money worries, dh is self-employed and his work is really starting to dry up, I have visions of me having to return to work after just a couple of weeks as he's not got any work. But, that may not happen. I don't know when I am going to have to go back to work but I am anticipating that it will likely be January time but it's still a long way off, I can't even bring myself to think about the birth or make up my hospital bag (nine days till my due date) so I really shoudn't worry about something which may not happen and get on with now.

xxx

I'm so glad you posted this foxy because I am terrified too and I thought I was the only one. I'm scared about the birth, and also getting home afterwards with a baby that is totally reliant on me and finding myself freaking out because I don't know what to do.

When do you finish work? Perhaps you will be able to relax a little more when you have work out of the way and can then concentrate on making your new house feel a little more like home? A really simple suggestion I know but whenever I am stressing out about having too much to do I make a list and cross each item off one by one as I do it which makes me feel a bit more in control. Do you have any family or friends nearby who could help you with unpacking and sorting the house?

I don't really think this weather is helping you either, I'm not suprised you don't have much of an appetite because its so hot. Perhaps just snack on things as and when you fancy them throughout the day. I am finding that if I try to eat a hot meal at the moment it just makes me sick so I have given up until it cools down again. I spoke to my midwife and she said not to worry, just be sure to drink loads.

Take care of yourself x

Oh Foxy- I don't really have any advice but just wanted to give you a huge hug. It's really not surprising you don't have an appetite in this heat though!

You will be an absolutely fantastic mummy xxx

I am starting to feel the nerves too, allsorts of worries churn round my head, especially at 2 in the morning when I am up having a cup of tea and a digestive buscuit downstaires because I cant sleep with this hot humid rubbish weather!!

The one thought that is comforting me is when I was born to my mum and dad, my mum was 43 and my dad was 60!! My dad was thinking of retirement, my Mum was a cleaner!! They had virtually no money, they didnt really want anymore children but didnt want to think about the other option. They lived in very basic council accomodation in a not too great area, and you know what I look back on my childhood as one of the happiest, majical, amazing, care free times in my life. I didnt have perfect parents, a perfect home, but who does? All I know is I was loved to death, I got lots of cuddles, I was adored and cherished and I know in this mad world its easy to lose sight of whats really important.

From your post I can just tell straight away you are going to be a brilliant parent, because you know why - you are worried, you are stressed, and thats a good thing, if you weren't worried or stressed that would be a warning sign.

So sweet heart dont put yourself under even more pressure than you are already under, really try and chill out and just remember kids just need love, the rest will fall into place.

Now I could really do with taking my own advice, because I am in the same boat, but just try and look at what you CAN give this baby and not what you CANT.

Take care, you are going to be a brilliant mum.

xx

Thanks so much guys... sorry I took so long to reply, we have no net at home at the mo and our net crashed at work yesterday.
It does really help to know I'm not alone. Had a good old cry to my mum on the phone as well which helped. Deeeeeeeep breaths....