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CSA advice.

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Subject: CSA advice.

My partner and I received a call last saturday from CSA to say that a girlfriend he had in 2004 was claiming maintenance from him. Fair enough if it is his child. We don't have problem with that, however I would like some advice/ support on the background info.
When we met in 2005 he told me about this girlfriend he had been seeing briefly (3 months) She messed him around something rotten. Her mood changed daily from nicest thing to the devil. She would often disappear off 90 miles away to her home town after deciding to move down here. It came to a head when her MOTHER called my partner to say that this woman was pregnant and was shocked when he accepted the news and told him they thought he'd 'do a runner'. Not sure on that one as he's the nicest man you could ever meet!
However, she then left him and moved back to her mother (?) we assume... And only made contact once it was scan time.
On the day of the scan she was silent. He drove up there and knowing how my scans made us feel how could anyone remain emotionless and silent? I couldnt.
At the end of the scan she left him at his car and walked into the house. Silent.
My partner flew at the mother and begged her to tell him what's going on. She said 'leave it and you don't want to know.'
My partner spent the next few months trying to make contact thru friends and to her to find out what was happening. They all said you don't want to know. This woman then told him she wanted nothing to do with him nor for him to have anything to do with the child when it arrived.
From this he could only assume that these regular visits back to her hometown have resulted in her getting pregnant and feeling guilty but we have never found out.
So u can imagine how we felt receiving a call to say that after 6 years of a child's life to suddenly be asked for money. He wanted to be part of the child's life from the start but she denied him this simple pleasure. We have a beautiful daughter who he enjoys every second of. And was denied this by this horrible human being.
What happened?
Why wait this long?
Why say she wants him to have nothing to do with her/ baby then claim maintenance?
It's taken me a long time to get him to have a child (4 years) as he was devasted by her actions.
We have requested a DNA test before rushing into paying her any money but would be interested if there's anything we can do about these lost 6 years and whether she can deny him all this time any kind of link with the child and then once we have our lives back on track she can ask for money.
We are reserving judgement on whether we want contact at the moment but that will come once the anger passes.
Sorry for the huge tomes but I hope u can help.

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officemonkey
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REPLY QUOTE Posted :
Subject: CSA advice.

Hi Silverfish. I am not sure what your actual question is here so I will answer to what I think is being asked.

Before you do anything you have to wait for the results of the DNA. There could be lots of reasons why she has now gone down the maintenance route, she could be now claiming benefits, this would automatically set of the CSA. She could have been married and didnt worry about money and has now divorced.. the list is endless.

There is sadly nothing that can be done about the missing 6 years. The parent with concent (PWC) pretty much holds the cards and can decide when and where fathers can see their children. And the CSA treat any absent fathers like scum and automatically assume that the father is trying to dodge paying anything.

I am a PWC and my OH is an absent father (paying CSA) so i see both sides of it.

Good luck with it all , hope it all gets sorted.

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