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New driver feeling stressed
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Sorry to come on here to have a moan but I'm just wondering if anyone else has felt like this. I passed my test in May and because you aren't able to rent/hire cars without a year's clean license I've not been out driving since then except for doing my pass plus course and an hour in my mum's car. I bought a second hand KA today and so it was the first opportunity to go out and it feels like I'm back to square one because there isn't the safety net of my instructor being there. I'm terrified of getting penalty points in the first 2 years and already worried that I might have been caught by a speed camera because the limits change pretty rapidly round here and I think it was a 40 but can't be sure it wasn't a 30. I thought I saw something in my mirror but it could have been the sun and my passenger didn't think she saw anything. The combination of being a different car (no longer the dual control micra) which is much more responsive when I put my foot on the gas pedal, combined with people beeping me the second the lights change or agressively overtaking me when I'm trying to ensure I'm well within the speed limit and don't drift over, has put me really on edge. Plus because I've used my savings on the car I'm even frightened of parking now because I don't want to damage it despite the fact I was good at parking throughout my 7-8months learning. Just feel quite down about it. My friend who came out today was really reassuring but I still feel paranoid and my other half needs me to do a two hour drive out of London next weekend. I really hope it gets better as I loved learning to drive and I want to love driving. MsGx
hi there, i saw your post and it certainly rings a bell with me! ive been driving now for quite a few years and can still remember the sheer terror i felt at being a new driver and not having someone sit next to me able to brake if i didnt in time.
believe me its gets much easier, it really is just practice. if it helps having someone else in the car or speaking out loud to yourself (as i did!) then do it. you will get more comfortable and you will become more relaxed in your new car. its perfectly natural and ignore the people who beep you, they were learners once too they just dont remember how it feels!
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Hi MsGiggle
I too have recently passed my test (2 months) and am also so nervous when out driving. I was lucky enough to have a car from the start but as I have a toddler I am so worried about doing anything silly and harming him that I can't seem to relax. What I'm trying to do is just get out there and do it - practice makes perfect after all! As gemthestar says, it does get easier, and already I have noticed that instead of being a nervous wreck for the whole of my journey, the nerves do tend to fade a little after I've been driving 5 minutes or so. Keep at it, it is worth it, and hopefully soon it won't be an issue for either of us!!
I too have recently passed my test (2 months) and am also so nervous when out driving. I was lucky enough to have a car from the start but as I have a toddler I am so worried about doing anything silly and harming him that I can't seem to relax. What I'm trying to do is just get out there and do it - practice makes perfect after all! As gemthestar says, it does get easier, and already I have noticed that instead of being a nervous wreck for the whole of my journey, the nerves do tend to fade a little after I've been driving 5 minutes or so. Keep at it, it is worth it, and hopefully soon it won't be an issue for either of us!!
This is all so common! You're not at all alone in your feelings.
What I would do, is go to a quiet spot and do some driving and get to know your car again. You'll find your confidence will quickly come back.
You are bound to make mistakes (doesnt every driver) But you will learn from them and your confidence will grow. Please try and remain calm.
Other drivers used to make me feel pressurised, as soon as I took me P Plates off, I felt a million times better.
As for parking, I think you will soon get the hang of this. If you ever feel you are getting to close, or dont feel comfortable, reverse and straighten up.
I promise, in a few weeks time you'll feel much better, although I always feel abit nervous on the roads still, and I was told that nerves are a GOOD thing. There is no such thing as a perfect driver.
Remember you have passed your test and earnt your place on the road as much as the next person. You just need to get to know your car abit better, and build up a little confidence.
Good luck & enjoy driving!!
Xx
What I would do, is go to a quiet spot and do some driving and get to know your car again. You'll find your confidence will quickly come back.
You are bound to make mistakes (doesnt every driver) But you will learn from them and your confidence will grow. Please try and remain calm.
Other drivers used to make me feel pressurised, as soon as I took me P Plates off, I felt a million times better.
As for parking, I think you will soon get the hang of this. If you ever feel you are getting to close, or dont feel comfortable, reverse and straighten up.
I promise, in a few weeks time you'll feel much better, although I always feel abit nervous on the roads still, and I was told that nerves are a GOOD thing. There is no such thing as a perfect driver.
Remember you have passed your test and earnt your place on the road as much as the next person. You just need to get to know your car abit better, and build up a little confidence.
Good luck & enjoy driving!!
Xx
Perfectly normal to feel nervous being a new driver. I couldn't drive straight away either as although I got a car within a month of passing I had to wait another month before I could use the car and I know that amount of time not driving seems like a lifetime when you've only just passed. To top it off, like you, I had to get to know a new car and I had a fear of not knowing how quickly it would respond in certain situations but once I got to know how the car responds I felt more confident driving. Is there a particular place you have to drive to regularly such as work? I found having to drive to the same place nearly every day helped with my confidence and this is a drive that involves several roundabouts which used to make me nervous just thinking about! I passed in february and only really been driving regularly on my own since may, I used to feel nervous before almost every drive and now I don't even think about it so your confidence will come, just give it time and don't try to rush yourself, ignore impatient drivers and you will love driving again.
In Response to Re: New driver feeling stressed http://www.handbag.com/social/forums-lifestyle_motoring_new-driver-feeling-stressed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:3cf24115-6a45-4b85-80a5-9caf7a9bb453Forum:aeebe426-5926-41f4-8d5e-ea9c19bbe8f5Discussion:b272a20c-f988-4224-b133-d9d36c8183a9Post:3508ea03-442e-4b44-9e1f-69c1071ad1bf :
Thanks for your posts - it's so good to know other people feel the same. I managed to drive my boyfriend to a festival and back this weekend (about 300 mile round trip) and felt that on the way back I had definitely gained a bit of confidence knowing I'd done it one way and hence could do it back too. Even managed to navigate when he fell asleep although need to improve my choice of lanes at these huge three lane roundabouts when changing motorways. I also went to the supermarket alone tonight and bay parked responably successfully - admittedly in a bit of the car park that was pretty empty but helped to remember the skills.
I am however MASSIVELY paranoid that I'm going to get a speeding ticket through. On that journey I went through some ''average speed checks''. Despite doing the theory and reading my 'Driving Essential Skills' book I'd never really heard of this type of speed camera device before. The speed limit dropped all the way to 40 quite a way before the tunnel where there were roadworks and my speed flutuated quite a bit of the course of that stretch of road and I'm sure I was nearer 45-50 near the beginning of the signs although was cautious approaching and driving through the tunnel. I've also noticed a camera near my house that I'd never seen before which has the tiniest sign to say 30. I am always wary down that road as traffic can be nightmarish and people walk out from everywhere but still worries me that I hadn't spotted it. The main issue I think is that I was always very cautious about my speed when I was learning and my instructor had to get my confidence up to start doing the speed limit rather than holding traffic up by driving under it but I worry about getting too confident and not slowing down early enough or mistaking the speed limit especially as I don't want to hold people up but they might be speeeding. I'm dreading the post these days. I'm analysing the whole journey thinking about when I saw a national speed limit sign whether maybe I was on a single carriageway road and should have been doing 60 rather than 70 but I can only seem to remember there being at least 2 lanes on the A14 to A1 route I took. It's making me edgy about going on unfamiliar routes just in case I make mistakes and accrue any points in my first two years. I couldn't afford to do the tests again and my insurance is already sky high and would surely increase. I'd have to sell the car and I'd lose more money. It makes me want to cry thinking about it.
Thanks for your posts - it's so good to know other people feel the same. I managed to drive my boyfriend to a festival and back this weekend (about 300 mile round trip) and felt that on the way back I had definitely gained a bit of confidence knowing I'd done it one way and hence could do it back too. Even managed to navigate when he fell asleep although need to improve my choice of lanes at these huge three lane roundabouts when changing motorways. I also went to the supermarket alone tonight and bay parked responably successfully - admittedly in a bit of the car park that was pretty empty but helped to remember the skills.
I am however MASSIVELY paranoid that I'm going to get a speeding ticket through. On that journey I went through some ''average speed checks''. Despite doing the theory and reading my 'Driving Essential Skills' book I'd never really heard of this type of speed camera device before. The speed limit dropped all the way to 40 quite a way before the tunnel where there were roadworks and my speed flutuated quite a bit of the course of that stretch of road and I'm sure I was nearer 45-50 near the beginning of the signs although was cautious approaching and driving through the tunnel. I've also noticed a camera near my house that I'd never seen before which has the tiniest sign to say 30. I am always wary down that road as traffic can be nightmarish and people walk out from everywhere but still worries me that I hadn't spotted it. The main issue I think is that I was always very cautious about my speed when I was learning and my instructor had to get my confidence up to start doing the speed limit rather than holding traffic up by driving under it but I worry about getting too confident and not slowing down early enough or mistaking the speed limit especially as I don't want to hold people up but they might be speeeding. I'm dreading the post these days. I'm analysing the whole journey thinking about when I saw a national speed limit sign whether maybe I was on a single carriageway road and should have been doing 60 rather than 70 but I can only seem to remember there being at least 2 lanes on the A14 to A1 route I took. It's making me edgy about going on unfamiliar routes just in case I make mistakes and accrue any points in my first two years. I couldn't afford to do the tests again and my insurance is already sky high and would surely increase. I'd have to sell the car and I'd lose more money. It makes me want to cry thinking about it.
OK, first, you're not alone; driving is nerve-wracking when you're newly qualifies, but confidence grows with time. My tips would be as follows:
Get out somewhere quiet in your car as another poster suggested. First go with your mum or someone you trust, and then try it alone. Drive around for an hour or so and get a proper feel for your car. Keep doing this until you feel confident with the steering, driving position, gear changes, etc.
Invest in some Pass plates; it isn't too late (I had mine quite a while) and these let other drivers know that you're a new driver and most will be understanding if you make any mistakes, are actually sticking to the speed limit, etc.
As far as speed limits go, if you're in a built-up area and cannot see any repeaters, assume the limit is 30. Most roads should have clear signage and repeaters, it might be that as a new driver a lot is going on and you're busy looking at the road ahead/checking your mirrors etc rather than looking at signs. If in any doubt, stick to 30 in built-up areas. Other drivers may get impatient; this is because most people drive at about 10mph above the limit. Ignore these people as they are breaking the law and you are in the right. Just keep calm and going at a steady speed and ignore them. If you feel very under pressure eg they're tailgating, maybe pull in when you get the opportunity, calm down, and allow them to overtake.
If you tend to drive in the same area, perhaps go out with your mum (with her driving), and familiarise yourself with the speed limits in the area. I found this helped as a new driver, as knowing roughly where I was speed-limit wise was one less thing to worry about.
On unfamiliar routes, just take your time and be aware of signs. Variable speed checks are based on your average speed between two points, and there should be a clear sign stating that the variable speed check is coming up, and what the speed is. Your best bet as a new driver is to travel just below this speed until the zone ends (it will tell you when you're coming out of it and should also state what the new speed limit is).
Be especially aware of signs when entering new areas/joining new roads eg as you enter a national speed limit area, there should be a sign telling you this is the case.
Lastly, just try to relax and confidence will come with time.
Get out somewhere quiet in your car as another poster suggested. First go with your mum or someone you trust, and then try it alone. Drive around for an hour or so and get a proper feel for your car. Keep doing this until you feel confident with the steering, driving position, gear changes, etc.
Invest in some Pass plates; it isn't too late (I had mine quite a while) and these let other drivers know that you're a new driver and most will be understanding if you make any mistakes, are actually sticking to the speed limit, etc.
As far as speed limits go, if you're in a built-up area and cannot see any repeaters, assume the limit is 30. Most roads should have clear signage and repeaters, it might be that as a new driver a lot is going on and you're busy looking at the road ahead/checking your mirrors etc rather than looking at signs. If in any doubt, stick to 30 in built-up areas. Other drivers may get impatient; this is because most people drive at about 10mph above the limit. Ignore these people as they are breaking the law and you are in the right. Just keep calm and going at a steady speed and ignore them. If you feel very under pressure eg they're tailgating, maybe pull in when you get the opportunity, calm down, and allow them to overtake.
If you tend to drive in the same area, perhaps go out with your mum (with her driving), and familiarise yourself with the speed limits in the area. I found this helped as a new driver, as knowing roughly where I was speed-limit wise was one less thing to worry about.
On unfamiliar routes, just take your time and be aware of signs. Variable speed checks are based on your average speed between two points, and there should be a clear sign stating that the variable speed check is coming up, and what the speed is. Your best bet as a new driver is to travel just below this speed until the zone ends (it will tell you when you're coming out of it and should also state what the new speed limit is).
Be especially aware of signs when entering new areas/joining new roads eg as you enter a national speed limit area, there should be a sign telling you this is the case.
Lastly, just try to relax and confidence will come with time.
with regards speed signs and cameras, those average speed things are a nightmare (the M1 near me is riddled with sections of them). tbh ive seen so many drivers going over them by a lot that what you describe was fine im sure. its very hard to do an average speed for that distance and most drivers stray over a bit.
also, a speeding ticket - not the end of the world! i have one
im not proud of it but i wasnt way over the limit and got caught. fair play, i now have 3 points on my licence for another year i think before i can apply to get it removed. you can get i think its 12 points before youre banned, so its not like one incident is going to mean you lose your car (unless youre doing 150 in a 30 zone of course!) the key thing is you sound like a sensible driver, most people arent as careful/cautious as you. just try and notice the ones you can and try to make a mental note of where the speeds change on your most common routes. it will become second nature.
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Gemthestar: new legislation introduced a few years ago means an automatic ban and retest if you get 6 points, so even 3 isn't ideal.
It's worth remembering though that speed cameras aren't there to fine you willy nilly, most have clear signage stating the speed limit and that you're approaching one (if not you can contest any points anyway). As you said the OP sounds like a careful driver, so I'm sure they'll be fine, and once you know the area as you say it becomes a lot easier as it all gets automatic; I know where all the speed cameras are on routes I use regularly as well as all the speed limits, and when using strange roads I just make sure I'm observant and check any signs, and stick to 30 in built-up areas when in doubt.
It's worth remembering though that speed cameras aren't there to fine you willy nilly, most have clear signage stating the speed limit and that you're approaching one (if not you can contest any points anyway). As you said the OP sounds like a careful driver, so I'm sure they'll be fine, and once you know the area as you say it becomes a lot easier as it all gets automatic; I know where all the speed cameras are on routes I use regularly as well as all the speed limits, and when using strange roads I just make sure I'm observant and check any signs, and stick to 30 in built-up areas when in doubt.
barbie - when did that happen? i cant find anything about that, it still says 12 points for a ban.
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