Quick valentines advice

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Subject: Quick valentines advice

Hi all,

Need a bit of quick advice. Been seeing my new man for about 2 months now. It's going REALLY well.... and from what we say to each other, we both see it going somewhere. He said that he sees "something big happening with us", among other things. So basically, we're both completely smitten, and I'd really like to give him a valentine's card that kinda sums up how I feel about him, but I don't want to freak him out...

I would say I've fallen head over heels in love with him... but I wouldnt say 'I love you' because I think being in love with someone, and LOVING them are 2 different things (Love being something that develops after you've been there for each other through thick and thin)... and obviously it's still all fairly new.

I found this pic which I'd like to turn in to a card for him. I think it's got the right amount of sentiment, without being too gushy and heavy but what do others think?

[http://images.firstcovers.com/covers/b/beyond_my_control-2953.jpg]

[http://images.firstcovers.com/covers/b/beyond_my_control-2953.jpg]

Inside, I'd just write 'Be my valentine'

Thoughts?

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wauwausister
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Subject: Re: Quick valentines advice

Are you ok with him knowing you feel like you're in love?
I think the card's lovely by the way, but I also think it's pretty mushy, and he will read that you're in love with him.
I know that sounds obvious.
It's pretty tough finding a card that isn't pretty full on to be honest. I bought my bloke a vintage one with an arrow piercing a heart, last year, when we were fairly new together. And I remember wondering if it was a bit much.
But I think if your bloke's delighted to be with you, then the card will make him beam.
x

x

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incubizz
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Well... in my head I just want to shout it at everyone, and tell everyone how amazing he is, lol. But then I need to put my sane, rational, non-oestrogen clouded sensible hat on and remember that he may not want that, lol.

From the texts that we've sent each other, and how we are together, I don't think it would be a surprise to him if he knew.... but it still feels like a risk.

My male friend (who i asked for advice) said that he sees no difference between "in love" and "i love you" and that he'd read more deeply in to it and perhaps consider it a bit heavy.... but then he isn't in the relationship so perhaps does not see it in the same context.

I just don't like some of the cards that are out there, which are either pretty generic and thoughtless "happy valentines day BOYFRIEND" or waaaaaaaaaay gushy and wordy and a bit too schmoozy... whereas that little pic is soppy but doesnt go on too much (IMO).

Argh... what to do. I have 2 weeks to figure it out. lol. I was thinking of buying a 'casual' card to keep in reserve in case he gives me a really casual one also.... and then I have a backup plan, haaaaaa!

I've just NEVER felt like this.... and I've had a few long term relationships. Don't wanna sound like I'm looking through rose tinted specs, but this feels so different.... (and we've said this to each other) but I don't wanna mess it up either...

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wauwausister
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Subject: Re: Quick valentines advice

Maybe make your own then?
I made one once out of the loveheart sweets. I wrote a message and used the sweets to fill in the gaps between words, and cut out little pockets for them to sit in.

Failing that, make a non-slushy/partially slushy one.
x

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incubizz
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Subject: Re: Quick valentines advice

Thanks wauwausister, good ideas. Do u think that pic I posted is too slushy then? I wish I could think like a guy... I just want to know that he's not going to run a mile if I give it to him...

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echome1
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Subject: Re: Quick valentines advice

How about changing the words from 'falling in love with you WAS beyond my control' to 'falling in love with you IS beyond my control'?

That makes it slightly ambiguous and less of a fait accompli. You know how you feel, he probably knows how you feel too - but if you are unsure about whether the fingers pic is a bit too much, maybe better to play things down a bit. There will be plenty of opportunities to be more romantic later on.

Wish I had someone to send a Valentine's card to

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wauwausister
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Subject: Re: Quick valentines advice

No I don't think it's really slushy. I like it. I think it's a very cute and funny image too.
Put it this way, I think you should send the one that you like the most, because then it'll be from the heart.
And you should always be honest and go with how you feel.
Oh, and a man never did a runner or was put off by a card because it's too slushy. I think you should stop fretting so much!

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janeyh2
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Pic is lovely, words might be too much at this stage, but you are the best judge. Some guys don't differentiate between loving and being in love. So I agree with keeping it light and ambiguous so that you can build on later if he's on board but will save any awkwardness if it turns out to be too soon. You might find you get a lovely slushy card from him

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krupdaloop
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Subject: Re: Quick valentines advice

It's always tricky when to say you 'I love you' to the other person. Tough call, in my experience men do scare easy & it might be worth just getting him a simple Valentines card to celebrate the occasion

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incubizz
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Subject: Re: Quick valentines advice

Thanks for your opinions.

I spoke to a friend at work, and she showed the pic to her other half, and he said that he thought it was a bit too soon...

Now I know every relationship is different, and I know him best, but I'm still a little cautious, so figured I might make a different one (I'm going with the lovehearts idea Wauwausister!!) so I have the option of a still-cute-but-less-intense card. Then maybe if I open his first, I can quickly choose which to give!! (Although it's more likely we'll hand over simultaneously!)

I can always give the one with the 2 little fingers next year! (Providing he sticks around, lol)

We've organised a day out on Monday 13th, as he's at a football match with his dad on 14th.

Although things between us are REALLY good I think part of the reason I'm so cautious is he still hasn't told his parents about me! He lives with them at the mo (as he's been working abroad until recently) so I get that maybe he doesn't get a lot of privacy, and this is the only way of controlling what's going on in his private life (and potentially protecting me from an over zealous mother!) but I think I just wish that he wants to gush about me to everyone - including his parents! Mooo!

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