Well, 4 months ago, i got talking to a boy i had briefly had a thing with in 2010, after which i got back together with my ex.
This boy was hurt at the time, and we didn't speak again, until last year, when we got talking and eventually he said he had feelings for me still, and if he had a second chance at it he would give it a go. problem (alarm bells) he had a girlfriend.
Queue 4 months of confusion.
regular contact, then none, regular, deep chats,then nothing. Then, development,December, he dump's her. He had always maintained that they rarely saw one another and that it had felt over for a while just neither of them had walked away. well, if you want to believe that.
Anyway, here we are, him and i spent all of December talking everyday, and i started to get real feelings for him.
Come January when were able to see each other as were back at uni etc, he's busy with exams and work, and we've only managed to see each other once.
I got a bit fed up and told him straight, why was nothing happening, and he basically said, "look i do like you and i do want to see you, i just am busy right now, we'll see in a week when this passes and go from there".
What's hurting me right is now the realization that i've waste 4 months on another loser idiot who told me he liked me, and spend all of Secember leading me on, talking about the future like it was definite. I am sat here now, having had another conversation where he made it clear in subtle terms that he is still going to be busy. He has said to me before, our problem is timing, were either both busy, or he was in his relationship, or i was in mine.
Anyway, i have been in some kind of dreamland hoping this was something real as he had portrayed it all along. Now i feel sick because my trusty gut feeling is telling me not only is this never going to happen but also, he isn't the right person and he isn't who i thought he was.
I feel so tired of playing these stupid games. I feel like maybe i choose the wrong men, or get into dramatic and crappy situations, part of me knowing their doomed. why? why would anyone get into something that is only heading for trouble. It's like self-sabotage, but i do honestly just want to meet the 'right' person and settle down.
Uh, so tired,and feel like crying.
