Advice on online dating please

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Subject: Advice on online dating please

Hi All,

This is the first time I've posted but I've lurked for a while and like some of the upfront no nonsense advice that's given out on here! Perhaps you can help me too please?

I've been exchanging emails with a guy (M) on a dating site for about a month and I suggested meeting up. I'm not new to online dating and I've usually found most guys are keen to meet up pretty soon (after exchanging 3 or 4 mails each) and this suits me as I think that you can't really know if you click with someone until you meet up. So back to M, he suggested in a jokey way that I was a bit fast wanting to meet up and suggested we talk on the phone instead.

I'm not happy handing my phone number out to a stranger and I know I won't be myself on the phone either so wouldn't come across to him how I am anyway. So I said this to him (and also suggested my concerns about why he didn't want to meet - was he perhaps married, time waster etc). I I also stressed that I understood that he may be perhaps shy about meeting a total stranger but that I am easy going and can chat to anyone (which is true). I mentioned how I was not used to guys not wanting to meet up and so was not sure how to take it. I also said I would really like to hear back from him but would leave it up to him.

I received a reply stating he didn't appreciate the accusations of being a time waster or an adulterer (this was not what I meant but can see why he may have read my reply like this), but finished the mail by pointing me to something he'd read in the paper today that I may find interesting (something associated with one of my hobbies, not the context of the mail).

I'm confused - I don't know if he was writing me off or not. Should I reply, does he want me to reply, if I reply, what do I say? I don't want to back down about handing out my phone number as I feel its personal to me (though I apprecaite lots of girls are happy to give out their number). I'm not sure if I did reply how I'd get around the phone issue anyway. If I walked away I wouldn't be devasated but then again he's better than most on the site! Should I leave it a few days? I don't want to play games but I tend to be a bit too "available" in relationships and sometimes feel I need to make the guy work a bit harder anyway, so perhaps what I feel is game playing isn't really.

Heck, what is a girl to do?!

Thanks for any advice, Rooby13

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LilMissJukebox
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Subject: Re: Advice on online dating please

I'd just forget about him and focus on finding someone who deserves your time

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wauwausister
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Subject: Re: Advice on online dating please

If someone you are interested in on a dating site gets huffy, and you haven't even met yet, I'd suggest you leave it be.
You gave him chance to make his feelings more clear, and to get to know you, and he got a bit arsey. So he did make his feelings clear, and it doesn't look like you'll be dating him any time soon.
Good on you for being straight with him by the way.

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Rooby13
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Subject: Re: Advice on online dating please

Hi LMJ and WWS,

Thanks for your comments. Its reassuring to hear that you don't think I'm being over sensitive or should "back down". I'm sure there are plenty more eligible guys out there - just wish they would make themselves known to me!

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