Hi
Both me and my husband have issues which means we cannot conceive naturally. Both the NHS and private clinics will not offer us IVF until I lose 5 stone.
Does anyone know if there are clinics aboard which are a bit kinder for the larger lady and don't have so many rules for IVF?
I know most people will say lose weight, but I am fighting 4 battles: trying to lose weight, trying to conceive, suffering with PCOS and suffering with depression. So with all this it is not easy although I am trying.
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Too Fat for IVF
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Firstly I'm sorry you're having problems.
Second, I'm from the school of tough-love so you may not appreciate what I'm about to say.
But - do you actually want a baby?
Your doctors have told you for the good of your health and that of any medical procedure that they carry out that you should lose weight.
If it was the only chance I had of having a baby I'd be down the gym and putting down the pies (sorry if this sounds cruel) but if you REALLY want a baby, you will do as they say.
Why do you want to go through a high-risk pregnancy with risks for yourself and your future baby because you won't lose weight?
Doctors don't say these things to scare you- they are telling you for the best chance of having a baby - which you say you want that you need to lose weight.
I understand depression/fear of failure/problems conceiving are probably all linked in, but why on earth are you putting obstacles in the way?
Say for example you get your IVF somewhere else, you are already 5 stone overweight (according to your Docs) and say you put on even more weight - I'm guessing you're not doing much exercise/weight control now, and say you put on 3 stone whilst pregnant - you'll be 8 stone overweight - putting MASSIVE strain on your body. You're likely to have a heart attack/a stroke/ have a premature baby... you're putting your baby at risk of obesity too. You'll be too fat to look after your baby - what if you have a C section?
Plus you will need extra medical checks costing £££££££££. Bigger operating tables, more midwives.
Again, I'm really sorry that you're having problems, but you need to help yourself and stop going for the easy fix. Do you want a baby or not? If you do, your doctors have told you what you need to do. Get and do it. Stop making excuses, you can do it.... if you really put your mind to it, you could loose that amount in a year and half.
Go to a slimming class, get swimming, get walking, ask your GP for help.... you have to WANT to do this.
I really don't mean to be cruel but you need to face up to the fact that YOU can solve this problem. And only you. Good luck.
Edit : Please talk to your doctor about finding ways to lose weight, they may be able to recommend something with regards to your PCOS. And you may also ask about having counselling for depression. I know some medicines for this can cause changes in weight, so you may be able to have medicine etc changed.
Again, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but if I really, really wanted a baby and the doctor told me to cut an arm off, I think I'd do it.
Losing weight is difficult, but you CAN do it. You really need some willpower though. And just think when you've lost that 5 stone, you will ready for a healthy pregnancy.
No one will say it's going to be easy, but you can easily and healthily lose 1-2lbs a week, if you can stick to a diet/exercise plan. You really are in control of this.
Good luck.
Second, I'm from the school of tough-love so you may not appreciate what I'm about to say.
But - do you actually want a baby?
Your doctors have told you for the good of your health and that of any medical procedure that they carry out that you should lose weight.
If it was the only chance I had of having a baby I'd be down the gym and putting down the pies (sorry if this sounds cruel) but if you REALLY want a baby, you will do as they say.
Why do you want to go through a high-risk pregnancy with risks for yourself and your future baby because you won't lose weight?
Doctors don't say these things to scare you- they are telling you for the best chance of having a baby - which you say you want that you need to lose weight.
I understand depression/fear of failure/problems conceiving are probably all linked in, but why on earth are you putting obstacles in the way?
Say for example you get your IVF somewhere else, you are already 5 stone overweight (according to your Docs) and say you put on even more weight - I'm guessing you're not doing much exercise/weight control now, and say you put on 3 stone whilst pregnant - you'll be 8 stone overweight - putting MASSIVE strain on your body. You're likely to have a heart attack/a stroke/ have a premature baby... you're putting your baby at risk of obesity too. You'll be too fat to look after your baby - what if you have a C section?
Plus you will need extra medical checks costing £££££££££. Bigger operating tables, more midwives.
Again, I'm really sorry that you're having problems, but you need to help yourself and stop going for the easy fix. Do you want a baby or not? If you do, your doctors have told you what you need to do. Get and do it. Stop making excuses, you can do it.... if you really put your mind to it, you could loose that amount in a year and half.
Go to a slimming class, get swimming, get walking, ask your GP for help.... you have to WANT to do this.
I really don't mean to be cruel but you need to face up to the fact that YOU can solve this problem. And only you. Good luck.
Edit : Please talk to your doctor about finding ways to lose weight, they may be able to recommend something with regards to your PCOS. And you may also ask about having counselling for depression. I know some medicines for this can cause changes in weight, so you may be able to have medicine etc changed.
Again, I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but if I really, really wanted a baby and the doctor told me to cut an arm off, I think I'd do it.
Losing weight is difficult, but you CAN do it. You really need some willpower though. And just think when you've lost that 5 stone, you will ready for a healthy pregnancy.
No one will say it's going to be easy, but you can easily and healthily lose 1-2lbs a week, if you can stick to a diet/exercise plan. You really are in control of this.
Good luck.
I had treatment in the Czech Republic and met a lady there who was quite overweight, not sure how she compared to you, but I don't think she had problems getting the treatment. I think she was told though that being overweight may reduce her chance quite significantly
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