Handbag’s got the X Factor
It’s over. Saturday nights go back to being just another night of the week and it’s time for us to get back in touch with our friends, after months of no contact, to see if they can fill the X Factor-shaped void in our lives.
But, one thing we can be thankful for is that the show didn’t just fizzle out, it went out with a bang in true X Factor style.
We finally said goodbye to Cher Lloyd on Saturday night, who looked shell-shocked but handled it like a pro. The minipops rapper must have known she was on the way out anyhow, no point clinging on like Katie ‘Weasel’ Waissel now is there?
We loved Matt’s duet with Rihanna on Saturday, and think that the two of them need to start dating. There was definitely more than just heat from the pyrotechnics during their performance on Saturday night.
Rebecca Ferguson’s duet with Christina Aguilera was Beautiful too. We were concerned Christina would outshine Rebecca, and she did but for all the wrong reasons. The singer’s face looked so puffy we couldn’t tell whether she’d had some sort of allergic reaction. We’ve just watched Burlesque, and it’s almost like the Christina on film and the X Factor Christina are two totally different people.
Both Rihanna and Christina performed their own singles on Saturday too, which reportedly caused many viewers to complain about the amount of skin on show. And, predictably, Jan Moir over at the Daily Mail has had something to say about it. “Please. This is a popular entertainment show watched by millions of children,” Jan wrote. “It is not just that the crotch flashing and pseudo sexual grinding provided by both global stars was out of place before the watershed – it’s more that the message it sends out to a young and impressionable audience is so debasing and depressing.” We don’t know what Jan Moir was expecting from Christina, seeing as she’s promoting a film called Burlesque, and therefore things could have got a whole lot more naked. Imagine the witch-hunt then.
We leave this year’s X Factor with a new-found respect for Rihanna. She’s absolutely gorgeous, and has a body to die for without being the size of a six year-old girl. Christina, who we’ve noted earlier was having some kind of allergic reaction, also proved sexy isn’t about being stick thin.
The thing that irked us the most this weekend? Robbie overload. Take That appeared on both Strictly Come Dancing and X Factor on Saturday and Sunday night. How did they manage it? We’re not even sure. But, we do know there’s something called overexposure that we don’t think the lads have heard of before. They performed their single The Flood, even though they had already performed the same set on the X Factor just a few weeks ago. Reports are coming in today that this was because the set for their new single Kidz involved dancers dressed as riot police, and Simon wasn’t happy. A spokesman for the band said, “It was decided after (the) afternoon’s rehearsals that the timing and content of the performance was not appropriate so soon after the violence that erupted at protests in London.”
We’re beginning to think that maybe Take That made a mistake letting Robbie back into the band. He always looks smug, thinks he’s funny when he’s not, and has made the other guys look like his backing singers. What do you reckon?
One Direction were first out on Sunday night, after they performed Elton John’s Your Song before being sent home on Sunday. We can’t say we’re surprised the lads were the first out, because surely most of their fans are tucked up in bed by 7:30pm on a Saturday night.
We thought Matt’s version of Katy Perry’s Firework on Sunday was great, but wonder why he didn’t attempt to pull off her firework cat suit too. That would have been entertaining.
Rebecca was robbed of the prize though. Her version of Duffy’s Distant Dreamer was poignant, eerie and beautifully executed. Compared to her, Matt’s version of Biffy Clyro’s Many Of Horror left us feeling cold.
There’s already a Facebook campaign to get Biffy’s original version to Christmas No1 instead of Matt’s version, which they’ve renamed When We Collide, for reasons we’re unsure of.
And finally, the fashion and beauty. Cheryl lost out in the style stakes on both nights to Dannii Minogue, who has been getting everything right this year – including mentoring the winner.
Cheryl also needs to sack whoever is styling her hair. On Saturday night she’d had it brushed back into a half-hearted neither-here-nor-there, and then on Sunday night she went the whole hog and had a whole Croydon facelift. We couldn’t concentrate on a word she was saying.
And so, here’s four things we learned during this weekend’s final.
1.After singing What’s My Name in her underwear, we have a massive girl crush on Rihanna.
2.We’d still have been a lot happier if Rebecca Ferguson won but we suppose Matt’s OK.
3.We want Matt Cardle and Rihanna to get married and have babies.
4.Cheryl Cole can get some things wrong. Mainly her hair.
That’s it for another year. What will happen on the X Factor 2011? Will there even be a show? Will Cheryl move across to the US version of the X Factor? Who knows. We’ll just have to wait and see.
In the meantime, we need to find something to do until Britain’s Got Talent starts.
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