Celebrity April Fools

In honour of April Fools Day handbag.com brings you our definitive list of the top celebrity idiots, including Pete Doherty, Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears and Tom Cruise

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Pete Doherty

Pete Doherty,Amy Winehouse,drugs,rehab,celebrity,scientology Pete Doherty Where do we start with this Indie dunce? Apart from getting arrested more times than we\'ve had hot dinners, he\'s been filmed injecting heroin and smoking crack too. What\'s even more astounding is that he hasn\'t landed any jail time for it yet, he just keeps promising to go back to rehab, and the magistrates keep falling for it! Not content with making a train-wreck of his own life, Pete\'s allegedly knocked up Sir Alex Ferguson\'s goddaughter and has been offering Amy Winehouse a shoulder to cry on. Who can blame Amy\'s dad for whacking him with a guitar backstage in December! Not bonkers enough for you? Latest news is he\'s about to hook up with Tom Cruise and become a Scientologist.

Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise,Oprah Winfrey,celebrity,hollywood,scientology,scientologist,tomkat Tom Cruise

Oh boy, it\'s a mystery how the most powerful star in Hollywood can actually be a complete twit. Tom started his batty behaviour back in 2005 when he did his couch-jumping act on Oprah and has been on a runaway train of stupidity ever since. Tom proved himself the King of the Inane Grin and Maniacal Laugh in this year\'s infamous leaked Scientology video, and we were all blown away with his magical words of wisdom - "Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you\'re the only one that can really help." Ambulance drivers of the world, stand aside, Tom - aka Captain Dumbass - is on his way to save the day!

Joss Stone

celebrity gossip,celebrity,joss stone,singer,soul Joss Stone When the US National Heart, Lung And Blood Institute asked Joss Stone to attend a recent fundraiser they probably should have told her to leave the health advice to them. When asked for a health tip, the soul star said, "In England we smoked rolled cigarettes. It\'s better to smoke rollies than straights because straights have chemicals that keep them burning. So if you have to really smoke, smoke rollies." Thanks for that brilliant piece of advice, Joss! Next she\'ll be telling binge drinkers to stick to vodka because all the bad bits are filtered out. And now she\'s gone and ruined the Flake adverts too. Doh!

Eddie Murphy

Mel B,spice girls,celebrity,eddie murphy,hollywood,pregnant,baby Eddie Murphy Comedian Eddie Murphy isn\'t such a funny guy these days. We can\'t decide which is more stupid - getting Mel B pregnant or denying that he got Mel B pregnant. Ever heard of safe sex Eddie? That goes for you too, Mel. Anyway, now it\'s been proven that Murphy is the father of Mel\'s daughter, Angel, he\'s refusing to have anything to do with the child. According to the Daily Mail, Eddie thinks he was tricked into getting Mel pregnant, and is taking the extremely mature route of emotionally neglecting his ninth child to get back at her mother. Shoulda used a condom, Eddie.

Heather Mills

paul mccartney,heather mills,celebrity,celebrity divorce,celebrity court case,millionaire Heather Mills It\'s hard to call anyone that\'s just become £23.4 million richer a fool, but then again Heather Mills isn\'t just anyone. While such a high profile divorce case was always going to make her front-page news, this year the former model hasn\'t done much to keep herself out of the headlines. First she was said to have angered neighbours with an over the top New Year\'s Eve party, then came her truly disastrous appearances on GMTV - but not before she blamed her marriage breakdown on step-daughter Stella - and then, perhaps best of all, urged us all to drink rat\'s milk. Our advice? Take the money and run Heather!

Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse,drugs,rehab,celebrity Amy Winehouse Back in February Amy had seemed to have finally put her troubles behind her when she swooped an incredible five awards at the Grammys. But with her husband Blake ("My Blake incarcerated!") in prison, things haven\'t gone well for Amy. She\'s being filmed smoking what appeared to be crack cocaine, threatened with divorce and suffered strange skin lesions which she\'s reported to be treating with urine therapy (that\'s pee pee to you and me). And don\'t get us started on that hair! Make no mistake, if this was anyone else they\'d be long gone but for all her problems Amy\'s talent has never been questioned. We\'re predicting a comeback that could give even Lazarus a run for his money.  

 

Ashley Cole

Cheryl Cole,ashley cole,celebrity,celebrity love life,celebrity news Ashley Cole When Ashley and Cheryl got hitched in 2006 a new Posh and Becks was on the cards. Fast-forward two years and it\'s a different story. At the end of January the news broke that a drunken Ashley had cheated on Cheryl with another woman, Aimee Walton. A cheating footballer? Never! No doubt Ashley was in deep trouble - initially Cheryl stood by her man but the news just kept getting worse. According to Aimee, Ashley refused to wear condom, stopped in the act to chat to mates and vomit, offered to sort out an abortion and just for good measure two more girls with similar stories came forward. Needless to say Cheryl threw him out on his ear. The couple are now back together and said to be "working on their relationship". We\'re guessing Ashley is the one having to do most of the work!

Britney Spears

Britney Spears,hospital,celebrity,celebrity love life,hollywood,paparazzi Britney Spears

Where to start? Though it finally seems like Britney may be turning things around, it\'s already been a hell of a year for the former teen star. In just three months she\'s lost custody of her children, been given a restraining order, suffered not one but two breakdowns and been the butt of jokes the world over. But amazingly it seems like she could be getting back on track. With her father Jamie in tight control of all her business dealing as well her recovery, she\'s been teaching dance classes, driving again and appearing on TV. Sooner or later you know she\'s going to be the subject of the best tell-all interview ever given!

 

 

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Celebrity April Fools

drugs,rehab,hospital,celebrity gossip,celebrity,scientology,scientologist Pete Doherty In honour of April Fools Day, handbag.com brings you its definitive list of celebrity idiots. Drugs, boozing, philandering, urine therapy - these are just a few of the stupid things they get up to...

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