But even if you're OK with the kitsch, there are some simple rules to make your sweet selection a little easier to swallow.
If you're in a relationship and put the occasion on a par with opening bank statements and death, you maybe tempted to tell the boyfriend not to bother. On no account do this. You don't want to watch other people wooing when all you've got at home is a ready meal and a pile of his dirty pants. And forget telling him to be tasteful. You'll just be perplexed at his penny pinching when he swaps the rip-off red roses for carnations.
One thing that has to be avoided is the romantic meal out. There's nothing worse than a restaurant full of couples. The first thing to hit you is the wall of silence. You'll be forced to fork up heart-shaped melon balls. And your intended stream of sweet nothings will turn into a tirade about his inability to stack the dishwasher.
If you're single, going out on Valentine's night is the equivalent of sticking a sign on your head saying 'I'm desperate. Take me now and I won't even demand a bunch of overpriced blooms'. So if you don't want the looks of lust or pity, it's best avoided. One way for singletons to escape the hordes of smug couples parading their satin love hearts like scalps is to celebrate alone in the privacy of your own home. At least you can consume vast quantities of calories, safe in the knowledge that when you lay your nauseous head on the pillow no one will be there to grab your love handles.
Always check out who'll be getting the dreaded flower delivery in your office and either turn your desk in the opposite direction or develop a rather nasty pollen allergy. Though you claim to hate this blatant showing off you won't be able to disguise you're disgust at missing out on the Interflora five star bouquet with pillow mints.
The trick is to block out memories of homemade cards from your mother and the boy with the spot cosmos on his forehead and celebrate the fact that nearly a month after Christmas it's time to gorge on chocolates again.
