A man\'s view by Bill Borrows
oscars,2006
Oscars 2006 - Ellen Degeneres
This has to have been the dullest Oscar ceremony of all-time - even if they were brave enough to hire a shhh... wait for it... lesbian wearing a suit to present the show. Yes, very courageous. But isn\'t the point that the host should be at least a little bit amusing? The funniest gag Ellen Degeneres could muster was getting Spielberg to take a picture of her with Clint Eastwood for her Myspace page. I almost had a prolapse I was laughing that hard...
Melissa Etheridge
oscars,2006,melissa,etheridge
Oscars 2006 - Melissa Etheridge
So Ellen Degeneres, not the funniest lesbian in the world or, as it turns out, not even the funniest lesbian in the room. Melissa Etheridge after winning an Oscar in the best song category casually reflected, \'This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.\'
Rachel Weisz
oscars,2006,rachel,weisz
Oscars 2006 - Rachel Weisz
Then there\'s poor old Rachel Weisz. Not only is she the acting equivalent of MRSA, she has just minted a new piece of rhyming slang. Vera Wang/ overhang. As in, \'Oh, I wouldn\'t wear that love, it\'s a bit tight up top and you\'ve got a terrible bit of the Veras going on there.\'
Forest Whitaker
oscars,2006,forest,whitaker
Oscars 2006 - Forest Whitaker
And what happened to the legislation put in place to prevent Forest Whitaker ever acting again after the Crying Game? Probably repealed by Al Gore.
Al Gore
oscars,2006,al,gore
Oscars 2006 - Al Gore
\'My fellow Americans,\' he said, \'People all over the world, we need to solve the climate crisis. It\'s not a political issue, it\'s a moral issue. We have everything we need to get started with the possible will to act.\' He did not go on to say, \'So no more energy-expending second, third and fourth homes all over the world, flights for promotional purposes, gas-guzzling Hummers and lucrative advertisements for multi-national corporations.\' Inconvenient truth? Yup.
Victoria Beckham
oscars 2006,victoria beckham
Oscars 2006 - Victoria Beckham
Can anybody tell me what Posh was doing at the Oscar after-show parties? Okay, she\'s in Los Angeles and house-hunting but does that mean she should be hanging out with the cream of Hollywood? Watching Posh pose for the paps it occurred to me that she is precisely the same width as my SIM card but carries a significantly inferior amount of useful information. What is the point of her? Answers on an e-mail please?
The worst dressed award..
oscars,2006,helena,bonham,carter
Oscars 2006 - Helena Bonham Carter
\'And the Helena Bonham Carter Award for the "What the F" Award... the nominees are, Cameron Diaz for "Part Of Your Dress Is Missing And We Can See Your Huge Feet", J-Lo for "Helen Keller Was My Hairdresser", Jennifer Hudson for "The Bacofoil Years" and Meryl Streep for "The Devil\'s Gone Ga Ga: Karate Kid VI" and the winner is...
Meryl Streep
oscars 2006,meryl streep
Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep.\' The French Lieutenant\'s gone right off her apparently.
Jennifer Hudson
oscars 2006,jennifer hudson
Oscars 2006 - Jennifer Hudson
Jennifer Hudson was right to thank God in the only word she managed to get out before saying \'grandma\' and dissolving into tears. Somebody must have told her to take off the Elvis Mini-Me Bingo-Wing Disguiser before she accepted her award. And that can only have been God. Or somebody with glaucoma sitting less than 50 feet away from her.
Helen Mirren
oscars 2006,helen mirren
Oscars 2006 - Helen Mirren
It is probably treason to have a pop at Helen Mirren for the next few weeks (cf. Judie Dench ever) - so let\'s do it. She was absolutely superb in the Long Good Friday and even better in Prime Suspect, but playing a sour-faced old German housefrau is not how she should be remembered. She may have won an Oscar for it and brown-nosed for England in her acceptance speech but she is still a brilliant actress. Caligula anybody?
Martin Scorsese
oscars 2006,martin scorsese
Oscars 2006 - Martin Scorsese
Who knew Martin Scorsese was ill? He isn\'t? But why else would they give him an Oscar for his fifth best film when he has been nominated and failed to win so many times before? Get well soon Marty.
Robert Downey Jr
oscars,2006,robert,downey,jr
Oscars 2006 - Robert Downey Jr
And, the best line of the night (no pun intended)? All Robert Downey Jnr\'s as he presented the award for Best Visual Effects. \'Visual effects: They enable us to see aliens, experience other universes, move in slow motion or watch spiders climbing high above the city landscape. For me, just a typical weeknight in the mid \'90s.\' Well done Sir.
