We call it the goggle box, claim it destroys our intellect and turns us into couch potatoes. Talk to anyone and they'll lie about how much they watch. These are the same people who can recount every plot twist in Eastenders with the skill of an 80-year-old housebound quadriplegic.
There are people who keep it on the whole time like a flickering hearth. It won't toast marshmallows but you can stare at it for hours without singeing your eyeballs. Some love theirs so much they name a room after it. But many go to great lengths to disguise it as a cabinet or a drinks trolley. Others hide theirs in a dark corner only to spend the whole night craning their neck to get a glimpse. There are those who don't even let their children watch it. This is a particularly subtle form of child abuse. Others ban it completely. These are the people who frequent 24-hour supermarkets desperate for some late
night visual stimulation.
It's OK for the most anti-TV addict to watch highbrow shows as long as they read a complicated novel straight afterwards. And there are times when even those in trash-TV-denial admit they're glued to the box. Just take the most recent Celebrity Big Brother. Gorgeous George suddenly made it acceptable to discuss the Machiavellian machinations of the housemates on Radio 4. It was no less trashy or cheap entertainment. But throw in someone who can string two syllables together and even the TV prudes were at it.
Too much TV says you have too much time. And according to the media we all love being busy. Just watching it implies you lack imagination, don't have enough hobbies and have an arse the size of a small former Soviet state. But a large chunk of our day would be bereft of conversation without one. And with the so little rain, what else can we rant about with complete strangers?
As much as we hide it, us Brits can't watch enough. But with staying in the new going out, surely it's time TV got an image revamp? Learning about the sex life of a soldier ant, mastering the art of mind reading and perfecting the perfect sponge, all from the comfort of your cushions. Surely we shouldn't be ashamed?
