Grab your WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?) wristband and celebrate because the clean-living Scotsman has scooped the £70,000 prize. Who would have thought in that first week that Cameron could have taken the title of winner of Big Brother 4? Not I, but as time went on, he managed to provide entertainment in this otherwise dull programme. His shaky-voiced appeal to Big Brother before his trip to South Africa was unforgettable: 'If anything happens to me on this trip please tell my mum, dad and brother that I love them very much and I've had a magic time at Big Brother and that I wouldn't change it for the world.' Mothers everywhere could be heard blessing his little tartan socks!
Cameron's few days in South Africa turned out to be the most entertaining part of Big Brother 4. Watching him perform a Scottish rain dance, wear pants in the naked shower hour and avoid the lustful attentions of a female housemate made fantastic viewing and kept us gripped, but the rest of the series failed to impress.
Channel 4 picked this year's housemates in a blatant attempt to spark some romantic encounters. However, despite some mild flirtation between Nush and Scott, they failed to film any sexy liaisons and simply left the nation watching a bunch of truly boring people for eight long weeks. The only personalities that shone out in the series were Anouska, the incredible flirt; Jon Tickle and his geeky behaviour; Gaetano, the South African straight-talker; and Lisa, a woman who could kill a man with two fingers. The rest of the housemates were as dull as dishwater and had the life experience of a toddler. Big Brother, needs interesting characters of different ages (let's get some pensioners in there!), occupations and backgrounds, and then Channel 4 will get all the bonding, tension, debate, and maybe even romance that it is desperate for.
Despite the disappointment, there were a few highlights Big Brother 4 will be remembered for. Who could forget Jon's attempt at making a solar-powered heater, or his poetic recital of 'Hotel California'? We also loved Tania's drunken reaction when Gaetano called her a piggy, Ray's action under the duvet, Tania's constant applications of blusher and Lisa's fantastically arrogant claims.
So what will happen to the housemates now that the programme is over? We predict Cameron will be the new face of Songs Of Praise, Gos will have a brief stint as a chef on This Morning, Tania will give make-up advice on GMTV, Jon will become a regular on Countdown and Ray will go to anger-management classes and appear as a guest on Trisha. As for the rest? Obscurity awaits!
Amuse yourself by reading a selection of handbagger's opinions on this year's final five Big Brother housemates.
